Inspiring Stories of These Kids Today - Part 3

We hear it all the time! Kids today are bratty, entitled, and disrespectful. 

I want to debunk this common myth about today's youth. Sure, there are a few disrespectful, bratty, and entitled kids out there, but a great many of them are wonderful! I've had stories pour in from all across the globe and I want to share with you today just a few of the inspiring and beautiful hearts of "these kids today."

I have two sons - Maison, who is almost 4, and Zachary, who just turned 2. Maison from the start has been an incredible big brother who continues to make me proud! The moment that I am sharing really touched my heart. I brought the boys to Chuckee Cheese where they have an indoor play tunnel connected to the ceiling. You have to climb all the way up which for an incredible tiny two is a HUGE deal. Maison bustling through climbed up with the speed and agility of a powerful three. When he got to the top he called out for Zach. Zach yelled, "Down here!" Maison climbed back down where he saw Zachary struggle. He then proceeded to tell Zach, "Ok, bubba I will help you". He lifted Zach up each level all the way to the top 3 or 4 times. No questions asked and with joy in his heart. Finally, Zach could do it "by self" as he says. Maison smiled and called over to me, "Mom, he can do it! Yay!". You see this was something so little, yet the smallest things are what make the biggest difference. Taking the few extra steps can make a world of difference to one person. I hope Maison continues to be the person to take those extra steps. The world needs more of those. Zach and I are lucky we get to keep him. - Samantha 

My niece recently turned 7 years old. For her birthday this year she asked that instead of presents for her this year, people donate money to Princess Margaret Children's Hospital in the name of her older sister who died 18months ago. She is also about to cut her hair very short so that she can donate it for a child's wig She hopes other kids don't have to know what it's like to lose a sibling. - Kirsty L

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Yesterday my 12 year old son walked a couple of my 7 year old daughter's little friends home. There were two girls and they only had one bike, so my son let them use a second bike he had. Then he realized he couldn't get two bikes back. A teenage boy walked him home and carried the bike for him. - Gina J

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When our youngest was 14, he and his best friend waited for an elderly woman neighbor to leave her house and then swooped in to clear her driveway and walkway from piles of snow. They came in so excited and watched her return peeking out from behind our curtains. She never knew who did this, but what struck me was their absolute delight. He still is a very thoughtful, helpful and kind person. - Cornelia S

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My three-year-old, Audrey, is the most loving and compassionate little person I've ever known. When she was 18 months old a little girl on the playground fell and hurt herself. Audrey heard the little girl crying and walked across the playground to comfort the little girl and make sure she was okay.
Fast forward to present day, last week we were going through a drive-thru and she was saying "hi!" to the workers in the windows, making them smile. As we drove away she says to me, "I love, love, love people!"
She is teaching me to be a better person every day. I love her heart. I'm one proud mommy! - Melissa F

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Small thing but I saw your post on fb. My son, when given the choice  to return duplicate presents from his birthday party to buy something else or give it to children who don't have as much, he insisted on giving it to children who don't have as much. He is four. Got the idea from friends who have a six year old and did the same thing.
My four year old also, on his own accord, asked to make a thank you note for his teachers who stayed on the playground longer when he got there late so he could have some play time. He said "that was so nice of them".
I have also observed his friends coming over to give him hugs when he's crying. One of his friends told his mom he was worried about my son when my son had to leave school early because of an injury.
I see it all the time. Thanks for doing the blog! - Christina B

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I love this idea and want to share a little story of my 2 year old daughter. We've recently had a baby boy and so her life has been turned upside down, but she's still so generous. I took her out for a mummy-daughter date to the coffee shop whilst her brother slept. I bought one piece of cake to share with her, but she decided she wanted to give her bit to her daddy. She loves cake so this was very special. <3
Looking forward to reading all the other stories.
Rebecca

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My 5-year-old son received $20 for Easter from his grandparents. He was planning all the things he would buy with it then he thought for a minute and said "Mom, you know what? I don't think I need all that money. I would like to give some of it away to help people." So we did!
My 3-year-old daughter always runs out of holiday candy quickly (Halloween, Christmas, Easter, etc.) because she is so busy giving it away. She remembers people's favorite candies, too, and makes a special effort to give it to them from her stash.
We have never forced or incentivized them to give or share....we just talk about how good it feels to give and how they feel when someone shares with them. - Sara L

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 My son Brayson is 2.5 yrs old. A few weeks ago we were in Walmart standing in line to pay. Behind us was a lady with a little girl who I believe was struggling financially. The little girl was crying asking for something and I overheard the woman say "No not today we can't afford it". As I paid for my items, my son kept staring at the little girl with a deep look of concern on his face. He reached for me to pick him up and pointed at the little girl. He gave her his balloon I had bought for him and said "Here baby don't cry". The little girl smiled from ear to ear and said thank you. I was so touched I couldn't help but cry. So very proud of my little boy. We went for ice cream after that :) -Jamie

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A few weeks ago I made dinner, and Laila, who usually eats everything in sight, refused every bite that I offered her. The foods I had made that night were all foods that she really enjoys, so Eder decided to just force feed her one bite. He thought that if she just ate the one bite, she’d eat the rest. The food didn’t even make it past her teeth before she was gagging and crying. I told Eder to let her down and when she was hungry, she’d tell us. I fully expected her to run off and play with her toys while we ate. Instead she walked over to my plate and picked up a green bean. Haha Eder! Gentle parenting works! She just wanted to feed herself! To my surprise, she put the green bean in my mouth! She fed me one green bean after the other, then potatoes, and then little bites of fish. Once the larger portion of the plate was gone, she fed herself the rest.

I was so touched by this little act of kindness. Laila had seen me taking care of her, and this time she wanted to take care of me! - Mary M.

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 I have a very hyper boy (7) and he always has been. I consider it just him being a boy. I used to be a very punitive parent because I bought into the idea that children must be perfect and behave and stay still and silent. Once I checked myself, I noticed a lot more of my son's natural wonderful qualities. He's empathetic, helpful, kind, shows initiative, imaginative, and many more. He is the first one to rush to anyone who has tripped or is crying to find out how he can help. Today, he carried his sister by piggy back for almost a mile during our 3 mile walk. Once we got to our destination, we met a little boy (5 years old) whose mother was busy talking with her friend, so my son played with him. When the little boy needed to go to the bathroom, his mom got frustrated with him, brought him to the bathroom and left him there because her other child was crying. I saw my son go to check on his new friend and said he helped him wash his hands because he couldn't reach the sink. I can only imagine my son giving this boy a boost to reach the faucet. When we got home, he said he wanted to take a bath and he washed the tub all by himself the way he saw me do it he said. I was surprised by his initiative. When I went to check, the tub was really shiny!
Also, my 3 year old heard me talking to her younger brother about changing his diaper, and she went to get the diaper and butt paste and brought them to me! I didn't even ask her! She saw what I was doing and observed from previous diaper changes what I use, and she brought them to me. - Maranela B

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My almost 4 year old son, thanks to the efforts of positive parenting, is probably more emotionally mature than I am.

I grew up horribly emotionally and mentally abused by my father.  I have been in therapy for 10 years and I struggle with severe depression and postpartum depression and possibly adult ADHD.  I suffer from confusion with feelings of anger, self-hatred, and sorrow.  We have really made the commitment to positive parenting and emotional development in our children so that they do not have to ever suffer the way that I did.

Today, I started to digress into a place of anger and was a little aggressive with my words towards my husband about house organization and tidiness.  Something mediocre, not requiring my agitation.  However, because I was descending into that angry place, my son came to me and put his hands on my stomach in a loving way and said, "Mom, mommy...everything's going to be okay" and he smiled.

It makes me cry to think that he has the emotional maturity and strength to help his damaged mommy heal herself of years of tragedy.  Needless to say, I was able to put myself back into a calmer place.

I encourage people to understand that emotional development in children does not manifest into "entitlement" or "brattiness."  It helps them learn to collaborate, stay calm in the face of adversity, and give strength to those around them.  It is about balance; it is about connecting with them at many moments so that they do need to "act out" to garner attention.  It is understanding that they, too, are human and that they have wants and needs.  And why is it we teach our children that they cannot ever have what they want?  Why do we insist on teaching them a circular argument of going after what they want yet when they want it, we deny them consistently?  Collaboration, limitations, and connection help to create assertive children who respect others and respect themselves.

I realise this is really harder said than done... that mistakes get made and we try to remedy those mistakes in the best way we can.  I certainly am not perfect by any means.  That said, my son makes great strides to remind me that everything will be okay.

Melanie T.

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Gifted Women, Gifted Girls, and Mental Health

May is Mental Health Awareness Month, and while mental health concerns affect everyone, women face distinct challenges. Women possess unique biochemical and hormonal influences that predispose them to certain mental illnesses, and they respond differently to environmental stresses. Gifted women face the same mental health risks as others, and recognizing these risks is critical.

In comparison to men, women are two to three times as likely to experience anxiety, twice as likely to become depressed, and develop post-traumatic stress disorder twice as often. Ninety percent of eating disorders, such as anorexia nervosa and bulimia, occur in women. Post-partum depression occurs in up to 13% of women during the first year after childbirth. On the other hand, women are less likely to experience impulse control and substance abuse disorders. ()

Some of the reasons for these differences can be attributed to biochemistry. Hormonal fluctuations associated with menstruation, pregnancy, or menopause can precipitate the onset of depression or anxiety, and affect the intensity or frequency of symptoms. suggest that there are gender differences in how the brain processes emotionally arousing information  Environmental factors also play a role. Women are raised with different expectations in terms of gender roles, the demands placed on them by their families, and assumptions regarding what they should be able to achieve. Women often have to navigate challenges such as discrimination, single parenthood, lower wages and poverty, and are typically the caretakers in their families. They are also more likely to be victims of violence and abuse, which can contribute to an increased risk of depression, post-traumatic stress disorder and panic disorder.

While genetic or biochemical triggers of mental illness are not always preventable, early identification and treatment can reduce the severity, chronicity, and long-term effects that may pass from generation to generation. Various forms of enrichment and support can provide protective benefits for young girls. Parenting children in a positive and respectful manner, providing positive role models, nurturing supportive relationships with family, encouraging healthy independence, and offering opportunities for young girls to achieve their goals, can provide a preventive buffer that promotes mental health. Efforts to prevent violence and abuse are critical, both within families and in schools and neighborhoods, and early intervention is essential when abuse has occurred.

Gifted women and girls face some unique stressors. While investigating whether gifted individuals are more prone to mental health problems has been contradictory, many gifted individuals suffer because of their emotional intensity. Heightened sensitivity, a passion for social justice issues, overexcitabilities, and asynchronous development amplify social differences. Bullying, peer pressure, and difficulty fitting in create stress and emotional anguish. Gifted girls, in particular, may hide their abilities, "dumb themselves down" and avoid traditionally masculine  to remain popular. Gifted girls and women (along with men) also may be due to misunderstanding among professionals about the social and emotional aspects of giftedness. 

Parents and teachers can help gifted girls appreciate their abilities and assert their needs without shame. While some families still grapple with stereotypes that over accomplishments, most struggle more with questions regarding their daughter's social and emotional adjustment. If of depression, anxiety or other concerns become apparent, it is critical that families seek counseling for their children. More information about the benefits of psychotherapy can be found through the . 

As adults, each woman needs to discover what constitutes “mental health” for herself. Finding a blend of serenity, creativity, and joy is a goal that many women find hard to achieve, but can be attained. Learning how and when to assert one’s needs, setting limits and asking for emotional support can enrich relationships. Cultivating healthy optimism, an adventurous spirit, a balance between work and play, and some meaningful self-reflection can enhance personal growth. Giftedness is no protection against mental health problems. Early identification and treatment is critical to ensuring recovery and future well-being.

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Jesus, the Gentle Parent - A Review and a Big Giveaway!

There are many Christian parenting books out there which condone and even advise harsh treatment of children based off proof-texting a few select Scriptures. Such books written by the Pearls, Ezzo, Dobson, Williams, and Tripp have dangerous messages which have led to . 

"A parent must recognize and see clearly that Biblically beating his child sensitizes that child not only to the fact of sin but also to its ugliness. In addition, the child will see that the penalty must always be paid when we sin...The one who does not Biblically beat his child, in a loving and consistent way, in a very real sense predisposes that child for hell and even has a very direct part in sending him there." (Ronald E. Williams, The Correction and Salvation of Children) 

L.R. Knost challenges the views and beliefs of these popular Christian authors by breaking down the very Scriptures they use to support such harsh treatment of children to the original text. By looking at the original text and their meanings, we can clearly see there is no foundation whatsoever for the rigid, harsh treatment of God's gifts to us. 

In Jesus, the Gentle Parent, Knost beautifully illustrates the heart of the Father. She gently points readers' eyes directly to where Christian eyes should be fixed, the Cross - the Cross, where we all received the gift of an undeserving grace and an unconditional love which our children should not be deprived of. Jesus paid the penalty for our sin, yet self-proclaimed experts like Williams maintain that the smallest of us must continue to pay the penalty for theirs. 

"Grace is the point. The whole point. Everything leading up to the Cross pointed to the Cross, everything was settled on the Cross, and on the cross,in the outstretched arms of Jesus is where grace was born. (L.R. Knost)

This book, however, is not just a book which discusses Christian theology, but is a practical guide for parenting children from infancy to adolescence. Newborns, toddlers, preschoolers, middle childhood, and teens and beyond are all addressed by the author as she explains how to parent our little ones responsively, consciously, and with a compassionate heart in each age and stage.

The Discussion Questions and Points to Ponder near the end of the book are invaluable as they implore us to look inside ourselves to see what our true beliefs are and where we acquired our beliefs, and more importantly to seek God for wisdom in our parenting choices. She doesn't expect you to take her word blindly but to seek counsel from the Creator. 

Jesus, the Gentle Parent is a breath of fresh air for Christian parents. It is a paradigm-changing resource that I recommend to every parent who wants to show their children the heart of our God. Lay down your rod and pick up your child in loving arms as you gently point them to the Cross. One of the chapters is titled "Grace has a Face." I love that, because it's true. Jesus is the face of grace, but to little children, the face of grace is you. 

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Look for in paperback or Kindle and at other retailers. 

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I'VE TEAMED UP WITH L.R. KNOST TO DO A HUGE GIVEAWAY! 

We are giving away 3 of L.R. Knost's books to lucky Facebook fans! Here's what's up for grabs!

Gentle Parenting is about guiding instead of controlling, connecting instead of punishing, encouraging instead of demanding. It's about listening, understanding, responding, and communicating. Written by children's book and parenting author, L.R.Knost, 'Two Thousand Kisses a Day: Gentle Parenting Through the Ages and Stages' is an introduction to the ideas behind gentle parenting and to its application in each of the developmental stages of childhood.

Communication is the key to peaceful, effective interactions between parents and children. When normal childhood behavior is viewed as normal instead of something to be corrected and controlled, communication creates the bridge to developmentally appropriate growth, maturity, and independence. Written by best-selling parenting and children's book author and mother of six, L.R.Knost, 'Whispers Through Time: Communication Through the Ages and Stages of Childhood' is a rethinking of mainstream parenting's perception of normal childhood behaviors coupled with simple, practical approaches to parent/child communication at each stage of development from tots to teens.

In this first release in L.R.Knost's Wisdom For Little Hearts children's picture book series, lovable little Petey and his furry friend, Beans, are having a difficult day until Petey’s mommy and daddy step in with some gentle guidance and help him remember to turn his ‘Listening Ears’ on, turning his very bad day into a very good one! The Wisdom For Little Hearts series is designed as a tool for parents, teachers, and caregivers to use in implementing Gentle Parenting techniques in their homes and schools. Concrete imagery and positive discipline techniques woven into humorous, engaging stories make the Wisdom For Little Hearts series ideal for children ages two to six.

RULES TO ENTER

To enter to win one of these fantastic books, simply go to my  where this post will be pinned to the top of the page. Find it, share it, and leave a comment that you have shared. Three winners will be chosen at random at the end of the giveaway.

GIVEAWAY ENDS May 15, 2014 at midnight EST. Check the Facebook post for the announcement of the winners. It will stay pinned to the top until then. 

L.R.Knost/Parenting and Children's Book AuthorWebsite:
Facebook:
Pinterest:
Twitter: LRKnost_Author

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Why is the "gifted" label so threatening?

What is it about the "gifted" label that creates such controversy?

Parents of gifted children, who harness for appropriate educational services, must navigate a maze of criticism and skepticism from who doubt the validity of the concept. Often met with blank stares at parent-teacher conferences, school board meetings, and parent groups, they feel alone and misunderstood.

Not unlike their children: alone and misunderstood.

How does the label of "gifted" play a role?

When parents who love and adore their children cherish the gift of their very being, it can seem like an assault to their senses when told their child is not "gifted." How can that be? What makes your child more of a gift than mine?

And so the controversy begins. A simple label, grounded in IQ scores above 130, emotional excitabilities, and exceptional talents beyond the norm, incites bitterness and envy. As all parents grapple with their child's strengths and weaknesses, a debate about "gift as a blessing" vs. "gifted as a technical term" obscures meaning.

In an , I advocated for a name change. Yet, there is also reason to question whether finding a new label will matter. After all, gifted children will continue to stand out from the crowd, draw attention to themselves, and risk envy, and derision from peers. Gifted has been a familiar term, used for decades, and changing it may create confusion and misunderstanding. And change could be seen as a concession to social/cultural forces steeped in ignorance. Nevertheless, a different name might help to eliminate one of the many barriers gifted children face.

Until then, efforts needed to address the controversy include:

Education. (Ironically.) Teachers, administrators and policy-makers in gifted education. Specifically. Not just a half-day seminar, but extensive training and supervision, certification, and continuing education.

Advocacy. Parents didn't sign up for this, but must absorb the burden until improved services are available. Parents of gifted children understand the dilemma better than anyone, and their continued on a local, state and national level is essential.

Communication. Explaining, describing and in every conversation about it will educate others. This does not mean apologizing for your child's abilities or balancing your child's strengths with a quick acknowledgment of his or her weaknesses. Parents of gifted children are entitled to express pride, disappointment, joy, excitement, and all of the other emotions inherent in parenting, without shame.

Without a name change, parents are left to advocate, educate and clarify each time they use the term "gifted."

Until others get it.

Until it is less threatening.

Until it is understood.

This blog is part of the Hoagies’ Gifted Education Page inaugural Blog Hop on The “G” Word (“Gifted”).  To read more blogs in this hop, visit this Blog Hop at 

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Eliminate gifted education (?)

What would happen if gifted services were eliminated? Would this better serve gifted children?

A recommends not just finding a , but eliminating the concept completely. The authors contend that budget-strapped school districts waste too much of their limited funding for gifted education on identifying students, leaving next to nothing for providing an education. They also claim that many gifted programs are still not serving the needs of advanced learners, that teachers can use differentiated instruction to address this problem, and that a label of gifted is unnecessary since all children deserve an education consistent with their learning needs.

The authors’ emphasis on meeting the needs of all students is commendable, and their critique of the current delivery of gifted services is certainly valid. Yet, their recommendation carries certain assumptions that pose serious consequences for gifted children:

1. It assumes that high ability (gifted) learners will be easily identified by classroom teachers. We know that gifted students (particularly those who are from low-income families, from a racial minority, are underachievers, or who are twice-exceptional learners) are . Many teachers have little education or training in gifted education, toward gifted children and their families, and don’t understand the depth of their academic needs. If many gifted children are not being identified despite efforts and regulations in many states, how would elimination of the gifted label benefit these children’s academic needs?

2. It assumes classroom teachers will readily focus on gifted students’ leaning needs. In spite of regulations in many states, gifted students are still . Most school districts focus on the needs of struggling students, and little time is available for gifted students. Most teachers devote their energies to those who appear to be struggling the most. For example, a 2011 found that when teachers were asked where they would direct their energy if they had time available for individualized attention, 80% claimed that they would attend to their struggling students, whereas only 5% stated that their advanced learners would receive attention. 

3. It implies that diagnostic terms are unnecessary. The label or "diagnosis" of giftedness follows from an conducted by a psychologist or school psychologist. Regardless of whether the diagnosis is depression, a learning disability, or gifted intellectual abilities, the purpose of any label or diagnosis is to provide clear, understandable information that is consistent, easily communicated, and will aid teachers or therapists in their work with the child. Although the term “gifted” incites controversy, why is identifying individuals whose intellectual abilities are 5% above the norm considered unnecessary? Would these authors also recommend eliminating other diagnostic terms, such as those used to identify individuals with learning disabilities or special education needs?

In fact, while the authors claim to support NAGC, their opinions are not consistent with the organization's goals. The report clearly supports widespread availability of gifted services:

"NAGC urges lawmakers and education leaders to develop a comprehensive state strategy that removes barriers and expands access for more students to a full range of high quality gifted education services, including:
• training in gifted education for all teachers and school leaders
• state policy allowing a wide range of acceleration options
• following gifted and talented students as a separate population in
student achievement accountability measures"

In yet another paper, the  states their position:

"The National Association for Gifted Children recommends that gifted education services, including identification, educational programming and support services, and teacher training be mandated by legislation in all states and funded at appropriate levels." 

The authors also, unfortunately, convey the misconception that giftedness cannot be defined and that it carries an aura of status that excludes others. They state: "'gifted' is an educationally nondescript concept, yet it also connotes an endowment that some students receive while others do not."  While some school districts waffle on definitions of what constitutes a gifted program, gifted intellectual functioning can be identified (with some exceptions) by an IQ of 130 or greater. And to imply that the label of giftedness is an "endowment" fuels stereotypes that instill bitterness and  about gifted students' intellectual and social/emotional traits.

The authors conclude their article with the following: "By focusing less on the child's label and more on the child's needs, we will better serve those students in our schools"  These lofty goals would be wonderful in an ideal world. But parents of gifted children, and most educators and psychologists working with gifted individuals recognize that this utopia does not exist. 

Retaining a label that identifies gifted abilities safeguards the precious few services these children currently receive and ensures their future accessibility. Eliminating identification is a shortsighted solution and creates a dangerous precedent that could set gifted education back for decades. Improving and enhancing learning for all children is critical; eliminating identification of gifted children will not aid in this process. 

What do you think?

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Encouragement for the Weary Co-sleeping Parents

I didn't start out with the plan to co-sleep with my children. In fact, I worked hard on the perfect nursery for my new little one to match the beautiful rooms I'd seen in the magazines and on television.

I adored the final result! It made it seem so real! A baby was coming!


He never slept a single night in there. Not one. I rocked him in there a few times in the wee hours of the morning, just to make the room feel useful!

He started out in a bassinet beside my bed. When he outgrew that, we moved that crib into our bedroom, right beside our bed. He hated that crib. He wouldn't sleep more than hour or 2 before waking up with his head stuck in the corner or his leg caught in the railing. It was out of sheer desperation for a decent stretch of sleep that I put him in bed with me. There he snuggled in close and we both slept.

That's how it started.

His brother came along 2 years later, and he slept happily in that crib beside my bed for 10 months. Then, suddenly, he didn't. So, I took the side rail off and scooted it up against our queen bed and there we were.

I'm not going to say it was always blissful or that they slept like the babies on the Johnson's baby wash commercials, because that'd be a big lie. No matter what arrangement I'd made, they seemed to wake regularly through the night for several years, and though I tried to put them in their own beds at various points, like the pediatrician and several well-meaning friends advised me I should, I could never make it work, and frankly I wasn't sure I wanted it to.

When they were still co-sleeping with me at ages 7 and 5, there were times I wondered if I'd made a huge mistake. Were my friends right after all? Would they be forever dependent on me to get to sleep?

I admit I went through several phases in those 7 years, from happily snuggling them, tears sneaking out of my eyes in gratitude as they fell asleep in my arms, to feeling resentful that I had seemingly no me-time whatsoever and feeling like I'd given up my whole life to please them, to enjoying it again, giggling, going on adventures to distant planets and telling hilarious stories until we were laughing so hard our tummies hurt.

All the while, though, there was that question in the back of my mind, nagging at me. Was I doing the right thing?

Then all at once, it happened. Quite suddenly, it was "Hey mom, mind if we go to sleep on our own tonight?"

That's how it started.

Now I give them a kiss goodnight and go in our master bedroom which is beside their room, and I just listen as they tell each other stories and giggle and bond. Slowly, the giggles space out more and more until they fall asleep together. Only twice have they asked me to come in and snuggle. Only twice since it started.

I thought I'd be elated when they could go to sleep on their own. The 2+ hours I used to spend every night getting them to sleep is now free. I have more me-time than I know what to do with, and I have to tell you, it isn't as great as I was expecting.

Sometimes, while I'm listening to their funny stories and laughter, I get an eerie vision of the day when there will be no sound coming from their room at all, and tears fill my eyes even as I type that because I know the day is not nearly as far off as it seems.

When I was in the thick of those 7 years, I felt like they'd need me forever. I felt like I'd never get breathing room, sometimes.

But just like that, it ended, and looking back now on those 7 years, they just flew by so quickly.

Time is funny like that.

So, I want to encourage you, dear co-sleeping parents, whether you're struggling with the decision to make them sleep on their own on the advice of those around you, or if you're in the thick of it and feel like you'll never be free, or if you're happily and cozily snuggling your little ones every night, I want to encourage you that eventually they'll be able to do it alone. I want to encourage you that, if it feels right to you, then you're doing the right thing. I want to encourage you to breathe in their scent, hug them a little tighter, tell funny stories, rub their backs, be present and make beautiful memories. Take it all in and remember it, my tired and weary friend, because it ends.

I'm so grateful I chose to spend those years snuggled in between them. I'm grateful for every bedtime story, every adventure, every hug, every back rub, every goodnight kiss. I'm also extraordinarily grateful I have a few more years to go before that room is eerily quiet. So grateful.

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My First EdCamp Experience and Why It Matters

One of the most difficult conundrums for gifted advocates is preaching to the choir and reaching out to the general education community at the same time. This past weekend, I decided to step out of the choir loft and into the main auditorium … I attended my first . To be clear, I was venturing well out of my comfort zone; I am not a teacher and that fact often does not bode well in a room full of teachers.

Any apprehension I felt on the drive into the city melted away as I took a seat to listen to the day’s Inspire Talk. Before the presentation, several people came up to me and thanked me for coming as I had mentioned on Twitter that I planned to attend the event. It occurred to me that it only takes a short walk to bridge the gap between teachers and advocates when we realize that our passion is ultimately to see all students succeed!

Over the past 24 hours, I’ve reflected on why this experience was so different for me when clearly the emphasis of an is geared to primarily professional development for teachers. Then it struck me … the very nature of this relatively new type of unconference brought together the avant garde of the teaching profession; the forward thinkers who are not bound by rules of from whom they can and cannot learn.

All in attendance considered themselves life-long learners. There was the sense that learning can take place anywhere. There was also a general sense of frustration among these teachers that their profession had taken a hit in recent years with the continual demands of standardized testing which sapped the creativity and innovative spirit that had sent many of them into the classroom in the first place. This was particularly evident among those who taught in public schools. How sad.

Unlike past experiences in formal school district settings, I felt accepted and heard when I spoke about in social media to facilitate the conversation between parents and teachers in the gifted community. Gifted students were viewed as a part of the school population who had needs that deserve to be met. It was an uplifting experience to say the least.

are probably not a destination for most parents. However, they are something parents should talk about with their child’s teacher as a viable option for educators who seek quality professional development. And did I mention the conference was free? The only expense was getting to the conference, and with the proliferation of around the country this should not be a major issue in the future.

Why does my attendance at an educational conference matter? It is a sign of hope that there are teachers who are not bound by traditional expectations of how children learn or how anyone learns. We must seek out ways to work together.

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April 1st is no joke for some gifted high school seniors

April 1 can seem like consolation day for many gifted high school seniors. And it's no joke. College admissions letters have been received, and many families have to accept that their gifted child will not be attending the college of choice. With acceptance rates at many highly selective colleges, even exceptional students are shut out. 

How can a family know what to expect? 

When gifted children are young, many parents assume that high school success will translate into an array of college choices. A recent highlights the surprise that follows when a highly gifted child is rejected from a wide range of schools. The author was astonished, and admonished U.S. colleges for overlooking truly gifted children. 

And on April Fool's Day, many families are left with feelings of bitterness and anger. They may believe they have been deceived and betrayed; their student’s hard work and effort was ignored, and raw talent and ability overlooked. It feels like consolation day and it's not very funny.

Why do so many gifted children get rejected from colleges they are presumably qualified to attend?

When highly selective colleges are inundated with applications, they have to draw the line somewhere. They have quotas, priorities and long-range goals, along with financial burdens. While most would likely prefer to admit the most talented, high-achieving students they can find, selecting who fits this criteria is complicated. And the sheer number of academically successful applicants is astonishing. National Merit Finalist Valedictorians with 2300+ SAT's are viewed as commonplace, and most will be rejected without some additional compelling characteristic. 

College admissions officers at these selective schools will tell you they are compiling a well-rounded, diversified class of students. They claim to use “holistic admissions,” viewing the whole student and not just grades and SAT scores. Yet this term is often seen as a thinly veiled excuse for achieving quotas based on geographic location, race, ethnicity, first-generation status, athletic ability, wealth, and legacy connection (otherwise known as “hooks”). A  of priorities among admissions officers, for example, identified “underrepresented minority status” and having an “exceptional talent” as the factors that were of greatest importance in decision-making. 

While parents on forums such as bitterly argue about the “fairness” of admissions policies, the reality is that most “unhooked” students will get rejected by many of their top choices. Debates rage on, polarizing accepted and rejected students alike, creating suspicion and bitterness, and implicating colleges as .

Those “unhooked” gifted students often need to create a profile that is quite exceptional and well beyond the norm. When a gifted, high-achieving student does not possess the "hooks" that will ease the admission process, he or she will need to stand out from the crowd. This may mean performing independent research, excelling at college courses taken as part of dual enrollment, exceptional mastery in the arts, or truly innovative volunteer work. They need both breadth and intensity of focus. Their efforts need to clearly convey their giftedness.

Before applying to highly selective colleges, students and parents for admission. Look at the highest percentiles for admission at the colleges in terms of grades, SAT scores and other requirements. If your child is in that range, he or she may stand a chance. But realize that acceptance to an ivy league or comparable school (such as Stanford or MIT), is almost impossible to predict.

It is essential that gifted students identify less competitive schools that would be a  and would readily welcome them. Many schools offer honors programs and other specialized tracks that can provide a great education. Gifted students can excel wherever they go and will find mentors, excellent professors and innovative programs that can stimulate their creativity. Attachment to a "dream" school is a set-up for disappointment in the capricious, uncertain world of college admissions.

A note to current seniors:

If you have just gotten your letters of admission, hopefully you are relieved and excited. If you received rejections, it is important to appreciate the competitiveness of these schools and not assume it is a reflection on your abilities. It may not seem fair that you didn't get into the school of your choice. But you can use your abilities to thrive wherever you go. And perhaps this experience will help you gain perspective and develop resilience when facing future challenges. Good luck with your decisions!

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How To Stop Yelling by Lori Petro

Are you a yeller? God help me, I KNOW this one well. Just ask my kid "how could I be a better mom?" and she will likely tell you, "She shouldn't get so angry." Ohhh, how I TRY!
I recently watched the documentary The Lottery of Birth and was reminded of how little choice we have when it comes to our behaviors, beliefs and habits which are largely unconscious and automatic.   We truly are just a amalgam of everything we've ever heard, seen or read.  Rarely do we escape the influences of the world around us - and specifically the patterns of those closest to us.  And, our kids will mirror for us those EXACT behaviors of which we are unaware. I grew up in a family where everyone yelled, even if they were saying "I love you."  

"Man will become better when you can show him what he is like."

- Anton Chekhov

You might yell if your parents did or maybe when you: feel unheardfeel frustratedfeel stressed and without resourceswant more choicedesire more recognitionhave unmet needs I think we can adapt our behaviors and learn to cope when we consciously CHOOSE to be aware. But sometimes we get stuck in that place of "what to do instead?"

In today's brand new episode of TEACHable Moments I'm sharing 5 action steps you can start doing RIGHT NOW to STOP yelling!

Your family history will tell you a lot about the root cause of your yelling.  When your child disagrees with your limits and shows you with his own huffs, yelling or threats of destruction, you may be used to reacting by matching his intensity - to prove your point, or your power by arguing, over-explaining or trying to provide endless reasons for why you are rightly enforcing this limit. When you take the time to be conscious, you won't allow your unconscious fears and automatic reactions to take over.  Instead, you'll gradually improve your ability to maintain your composure, even when your children can't! So, I'd like to know - what is your NEW PLAN? What tools can you use to engage your senses and calm yourself down?  After your watch, share your ideas in the comments because you just might inspire someone else toward the change that they were needing!  Thank you so much for watching! Have a beautiful week.

Warmly,Lori
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Lori Petro is a Mom, Children’s Advocate and Speaker. She is passionate about transforming our world through conscious parenting compassionate communication, and peaceful conflict resolution. You can find Lori's 47-page eBook plus audio download, The ABCs of Conscious Parenting, retail value $68, in the Essential Parenting Collection. To view the entire collection, 

It is also part of the Mindful Guidance mini-bundle which you can purchase separately if you choose. To view the Mindful Guidance mini bundle, .

*This post contains affiliate links.

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Why aren't you advocating for your gifted child?

You watched as your gifted child struggled with boredom, apathy and underachievement. And at some breaking point, you decided to do something. You planned to speak with the teacher, challenge the administration, maybe even go to a school board meeting and complain. But then...you backed down. Nothing happened. The moment passed.

What stopped you? What held you back? What were the thoughts, worries, and fears - some realistic, some imagined - that got in the way?

Here are some reasons parents hesitate and fail to advocate for their gifted children:

“I don’t have the credentials”

Unless you have worked in education or childcare, you may not feel qualified or entitled to approach the teacher or school. Challenging authority may be difficult and if you assume that they are the experts, it may be hard to build your case. You can feel stymied if you believe that training as a teacher or school administrator trumps your perception of your child. Recognize that you are a vital part of this team of professionals whose job is to educate your child. The information and perspective you offer is invaluable.

“I don’t know enough”

Uncertainty, lack of information, and doubt can weaken your argument. Gather as much information as possible from your child, the teacher, school psychologist, other specialists, and anyone else who observes your child or the classroom. Read and learn as much as you can about gifted children and gifted education. Know the regulations in your state and community. Stay informed so that you can feel empowered, remain knowledgeable, and counter any inaccuracies.  

“I hate conflict”

Maybe confronting authority is difficult for you. Perhaps you hate conflict. And you don’t want to be disliked. , confronting the principal, meeting with the school board all present the potential for conflict. You don’t want to be perceived as one of those parents; pushy and overinvolved, who thinks the world revolves around their child. Keep in mind, though, that you are fighting for basic, fair, and appropriate educational services that your child deserves. You didn’t ask for this battle. (You probably would rather be doing something else.) The school’s lack of resources prompted this fight and you are doing what any parent would - protecting the welfare of your child.

“I don’t want any backlash”

Valid point. Backlash unfortunately occurs when teachers, students or even other parents feel threatened. Although sometimes overt, such as when a child is teased by peers, it is often more subtle. A teacher may “not have time” to follow through on differentiated instruction, offer “extra” homework rather than interesting alternatives to the regular curriculum, or hold your child to a higher standard in terms of social/emotional behavior. And other parents may stop inviting your child to parties or make disparaging comments. It is understandable that you might hesitate in the face of this concern. Yet, if you don't advocate, nothing will change.

“Maybe the problem will go away”

Sometimes it seems easier to hope the problem will disappear. It might be simpler to assume that life will improve for your gifted child next year with a new teacher. Or that your child will outgrow his or her unhappiness or boredom. Sometimes you might just wish he or she were “normal” and would just calm down and like all of the other kids. You don’t want to make waves at school. You don’t want to create a scene. After all, your child is smart; hopefully the problems will work themselves out. Well, sometimes this is true. But other times, boredom, underachievement, isolation from peers, apathy and a poor attitude toward learning only increase. The sooner these problems are addressed, the more likely your child will start to thrive at school.

So, how do you start?

1. Start with the teacher. Find out as much as possible about the teacher's perspective. If your child has been tested, gather information from the school psychologist, and/or other specialists. If your child would , insist on it.

2. Get informed. Learn as much as possible from sites such as and . The NAGC is a must-read with excellent advice.

3. Pursue additional channels. If you hit a roadblock with , you may need to speak with the principal, gifted supervisor, director of curriculum, or other administrators. Sometimes parents even need to meet with school board members to initiate changes.

4. Form a gifted children's advocacy group with other parents. There is strength in numbers, and each parent can provide a wealth of ideas that may propel the group to implement changes in the schools.

5. Consider broader advocacy for gifted children. In addition to advocating for your child, consider lending a hand so that all gifted children can benefit. This may be as simple as about giftedness in casual conversation, or as involved as advocacy on a state or national level.

Recent articles in the , and  are examples of writing highlighting widespread neglect of gifted children's educational needs. Yet, these articles reiterate what parents of gifted children already know and live with every day. Who is ultimately more knowledgeable about the struggles gifted children face than the parents who raise them? Who better, then, to advocate for them? Recognize why you're hesitating, what's holding you back, and determine how you can better assist your child and others.

What's holding you back?

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