It's all in the wiring: Gifted development that doesn't fit the norm

It's all in the wiring

A recent poignantly described the commonly seen among many highly gifted children. Striking differences in abilities make it hard to grasp what is going on. How can children who are so bright struggle so much? Why would such perceptive children have so many emotional blind-spots? How can a child be gifted and developmentally delayed?

Gifted children have been labeled or neuro-atypical. And put simply, their thinking is atypical. They don't fit the norm. There is still much we don't understood about how they process information, how they view the world, and why there are so many contradictions in their development. Their wiring just seems different.

An Example of Wiring Differences

Years ago, I read an innovative and controversial book, "Late-talking Children"* by economist Thomas Sowell, which described a unique group of children who developed speech and expressive language much later than expected, yet who eventually caught up and often demonstrated exceptional intellectual and/or musical abilities as adults. His very unscientific surveys would make most researchers cringe, but were nevertheless eye-opening, and highlighted several striking trends.

The late-talking children in Sowell's survey had several traits in common: 1) they frequently went on to develop successful careers in the STEM or music fields; 2) they often had genetic ties to family members (parents or grandparents) who were mathematicians, engineers, or musicians; and 3) approximately 80% were boys.

Sowell theorized that these children had highly developed spatial skills that occupied much of their time and attention. In fact, it was assumed that they were so preoccupied with spatial interests (e.g., Legos, building forts), that their developing brain needed time to "catch up" in the verbal arena. Speech and language development would just need to wait. Sowell also suggested that the reason for the much lower percentage of identified girls might be due to the greater fluidity of communication across hemispheres in the female brain. This would permit verbal and spatial abilities to develop at an equal rate, even among spatially talented young girls.

How does this relate to giftedness?

Although Sowell did not use terms such as , asynchronous or neuro-atypical,  his theories are worth considering. We know famous examples of brilliant innovators (e.g., Einstein, Edison) who did not speak until a late age. We know that many gifted children do not follow the expected developmental path. Many lag in motor skills and suffer from . Some do not necessarily , despite eventually becoming prolific readers. Many are socially immature, and have meltdowns because their , oversensitivities and intensity get the best of them. They cannot regulate their highly excitable emotions and lack the maturity to control their behavior.

Why is this important?

Many theories of gifted development are, well... theories. Useful, informative, even brilliant, but theories nonetheless. Dabrowski's , for example, includes a framework for understanding the emotional overexcitabilities gifted children (and their parents) have to manage, and emphasizes that giftedness encompasses much more than exceptional intellectual abilities.

What we don't understand is the reason.

Why are these children more excitable? Why are they more reactive? Why is asynchronous development a part of the package? Why, in fact, would a brilliant child, a future mathematician or musician, struggle with speech and language long past when appropriate developmental milestones should have been reached?

Clearly more well-designed, statistically sound research into the brain development of gifted individuals is needed. One summarized some interesting research, but there is not a lot out there. Let's encourage and support research efforts that will unravel these mysteries and help us understand the complexities of gifted thinking.

Did your gifted child show any delays in development? What wiring differences do you think exist among gifted children? Let us know your thoughts!

*Sowell, T. (1998). Late-talking children. New York: Basic Books.

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5 Things That Keep Us From Fully Enjoying Our Young Children by Erin Leyba

Today, I welcome Erin Leyba, LCSW, PhD of parenthappy.org to share her post with us.

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Children are naturally full of innocence, joy, exuberance, and wonder. Just spending time with them can be tremendously healing. They can help us recover the playful parts of ourselves, enjoy the moment, and see the world through fresh eyes. However, there are certain things that keep us from fully enjoying our children.

Trying to pack in too much

In today’s super-stretched culture of achievement, we sometimes pack in too much and end up getting annoyed when our children can’t keep up the pace. Too many work hours, house projects, parties, preschools, basketball classes, ballet recitals, hockey games, and piano lessons can leave us wilted or high-strung. We might take children to Target, the park, and their sister’s play at school in a single morning, which invites power struggles and not-so-perfect behaviors. The slower we go and the fewer transitions we have with children, the more we tend to enjoy them.

Not feeling happy ourselves

After having a baby, lives of both mothers and fathers change completely. Free time, work, and friendships look vastly different. There tends to be a crisis period in which parents grieve the loss of their “old life” and search for new ways to make themselves happy. Research suggests that having a baby can also significantly stress a partnership. As parents negotiate changes in chores, workloads, childcare, and recreation, conflicts arise. If we take proactive steps, such as journaling, , talking to friends, engaging in self-care, and communicating, we can move toward wellness. It’s hard to enjoy children when we’re

Lack of awareness of developmental issues

Children’s developmental phases might include: it’s all about me; I’m trying to be my own person so don’t tell me what to do; I’m going to test out my powerful self; mine!; I’m going to determine the boundaries of this place; and I want to do things on my own terms. Children have developmental difficulty sharing until at least age 2 or 2 ½ but really until 5, and true empathy does not mature in children until age 6. It’s great to condition and encourage children to share and be empathic before then, but we may not always be completely successful. When we shift our expectations of how children “should be” behaving, we can create room to be more understanding, patient, and content with them.

Smart distractions

The invention of the smart phone and other intelligent devices has made it easier to bring our work, email, social media, news, grocery shopping, weather forecast, job search, sports videos, and exercise software to the park, playroom, rocking chair, dinner table, and bleachers on the sides of kids’ sports games. Distractions like a smart phone can pull us away from our kids, and they can also cause us to not enjoy our kids as much. With an itchy beeping, tinkling, jiggling, tweeting, dinging, alarming device glued to our fingertips, it can be hard to throw the football around at the park, build with Legos, or cover our eyes for a game of peekaboo. With the world in our pockets, it can be hard to focus on or appreciate the people in front of us.

Not honoring the first five years as a unique, temporary time in life

It’s likely that never again will you be as needed and as in demand by your family as you are when your kids are 0 to 5 years old. As you give baths, change diapers, feed the baby, toilet train, wake up all night, play, read books, and give children more attention than you’ve ever given anyone, you may feel like your family life is pulling you away from the rest of your life. Your house may be messy, your grass long, and your emails unanswered. Remembering that this is a very temporary, very unique time in life can alleviate some of the unsettling feelings associated with changes regarding work, friends, family, or leisure pursuits.

In the blink of an eye, children grow up. ensures we won’t regret our children’s early, most formative years.

All rights reserved.

Erin Leyba, LCSW, PhD, mom to three, is an individual and marriage counselor for new parents in Chicago’s western suburbs. Follow her blog at or on Facebook at https://www.facebook.com/www.parenthappy.org

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Solutions for Sibling Rivalry

If you're like me, you dreamed that your children would be best friends from the start. It's both heartbreaking and frustrating when your children fight and squabble with each other, but there are things you can do (and not do) to help build their relationships with each other.

It can be easy to compare siblings. "Your brother was potty trained by now! Why are you being so difficult! "" Your sister doesn't have these problems at school!" Sometimes these statements just bypass our brains and fly right out of our mouths, but they only serve to fuel rivalry. Even seemingly positive statements can have a negative consequence. "You are so much better at this than your sister" may seem like a compliment to the child you're speaking to, but it still encourages a competition mindset. And of course favoring one child over another will always cause resentment. We inadvertently set them up for conflict with these unconscious habits.

If you want a peaceful home, then peace has to be made a priority. This means the children are absolutely not allowed to call names, be aggressive, or be rude to their siblings. When conflicts arise, I propose the peace circle. When 2 or more children argue, they should go to the peace circle (or table, rug, or couch), and here they are taught peaceful conflict resolution.

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Stop misrepresenting gifted education research

Yet another study of gifted education is being circulated that lends itself to misinterpretation and sweeping generalizations. Even worse, its conclusions can be adopted as justification for denying appropriate educational support for gifted children.

In "" economists David Card and Laura Giuliano investigated whether selecting students for gifted programs should be based on cognitive abilities alone, or on a combination of both ability and achievement. This is certainly a reasonable question to ask.  My concern is with the conclusions drawn from the study, how they may be interpreted by the media and public, and how this may translate into educational policy.

A report of the study in Vox boasts this provocative headline: "," and boldly asserts that assumptions about giftedness need to change. While this makes for a compelling read, stating opinion as if it is fact, recommending sweeping policy changes based on one study, and generalizing from this particular school to other schools is misleading.

Researchers in gifted education and psychology, , challenged the conclusions reached in this and other studies conducted by economists who have evaluated gifted programs. They highlighted the problem of drawing conclusions from one study and making sweeping generalizations: "it is difficult to see other researchers investigate one instance of an implementation - in this case, evaluate one school district's gifted program - and then make broad generalized conclusions about the entire field."

So, let's look at the basics of this study:

Card and Giuliano studied three groups of 4th graders in a large urban school district. This particular district offers a separate "gifted program" starting in 4th grade, but since there are so few students who meet the 130 IQ criteria for giftedness, they needed to determine how to fill the remaining seats in the classroom. How would they go about selecting other students who would also benefit from a gifted education? 

Students selected for the gifted program in this study either: 1) had an IQ of at least 130; 2) had an IQ of 116 or higher, but were selected from an underrepresented, low-income minority population; or 3) were from an underrepresented, low-income minority population, but had received the highest scores on state-wide achievement tests. Improvements in standardized test scores were evaluated at the end of 4th grade, as well as in 5th grade.

Results from standardized reading and math scores showed:

1. A significant increase for the high achieving, low income students 

2. No improvement for the low income students with IQ's of 116 or greater 

3. No improvement (and even some negative findings) for gifted students with IQ's of 130 or greater

These were Card and Giuliano's conclusions:

• It is beneficial if gifted programs include both high achieving students along with students identified as gifted (based on IQ testing) 

• A separate classroom environment (i.e., gifted program) is more effective for students who are chosen for it based on their history of high achievement than those selected just because of their IQ

• The definition of giftedness needs to be expanded to include scores from standardized testing and not just IQ, since students with high standardized test scores benefit the most from gifted programs

Despite the researcher's conclusions, there are some unanswered questions and different interpretations that should be considered. Here are some other perspectives:

1. This was not a study of gifted education:

The "gifted classrooms" in this school district were not specifically geared toward educating gifted children. They appeared to offer advanced or enriched instruction where gifted and bright, high achieving children were grouped together for more challenging learning. While more homogeneous than a regular classroom, an enriched "track" does not necessarily imply that gifted students were receiving an education compatible with their abilities. The fact that none of the gifted students demonstrated any improvement over the course of the year would certainly suggest that this classroom was hardly challenging enough to meet their academic needs.

2. The study actually addressed two separate questions, unrelated to improving education for the gifted students:

•  What will boost achievement among bright, low-income, minority students?

• What is the most appropriate way to fill the seats in an advanced class with students who will benefit most from it? 

These are important questions to research in their own right, but results from this study should not be interpreted as relevant to educating gifted children. The study never asked what methods best enhance achievement among gifted children, or even how to ensure that we are not overlooking identification of low-income minority children who are gifted.

3. We really don't know what defines a "gifted program"

What is a gifted program? What defines it? Is gifted education a "program" or is it instruction specifically tailored to the unique needs of a gifted child? There were no clear parameters in this study. It is unclear how the curriculum differed from instruction in the regular classroom. And the authors noted that the gifted teachers had some training in gifted education, but were "only slightly more experienced than other teachers at their school." We can guess, though, that the "gifted program" in the study was similar to an enriched or advanced class, given the small percentage (approximately 20% or less) of gifted students in the class.

4. High achieving average and above average ability children benefit from enriched education.

Low income, minority high achievers, in particular, benefit from and clearly deserve an opportunity to be challenged. Given evidence that gifted minority children are often overlooked and , it is promising that programs are available that can offer enrichment to high achieving students. Hopefully, this research can be used to motivate schools to provide greater educational challenges for underserved and minority students in particular, along with an impetus to improve gifted identification.

5. We don't know why the gifted children did not improve

The study failed to provide an explanation for the gifted children's dismal standardized test results. The researchers noted that the children and their families claimed they were happy with the classes, and suggested that perhaps teachers focused on content unrelated to improving test scores. They also suggested that the gifted students may not have shown improvement because their test scores were already high to begin with. But if the tests were so easy for them, at least some minimal improvement would have been expected.

Some possible explanations that were not considered include the following:

• The "gifted program" may have been modified to meet the needs of the average and above average ability students. As evident in many classrooms, teachers often "teach to the middle" to accommodate a wide range of learning abilities. It just may not have been challenging enough for the gifted children.

• The gifted children may have started on a path toward underachievement, having accepted that they don't have to work to achieve minimal results. If the classwork seemed easy, and they were offered minimal challenge, they may have decided not to challenge themselves further.

• The gifted students may have masked their abilities, despite placement in a class of presumably similar students. Gifted students learn to "dumb themselves down" so that . Even in a "gifted classroom," highly gifted students often feel they have to downplay their abilities to gain peer acceptance.

In conclusion, this is what we do know:

We learned from this study that high achieving, low-income minority students thrive when challenged, and benefit from an academically enriched environment. Perhaps that is the most useful information that can be taken from this study.

We learned that gifted children did not flourish in the mixed ability classrooms in this study, even when they were joined by other high achieving and above average students.

We must careful when describing "gifted programs," always cognizant of the widely varying definitions that change from one school to the next. Until there is a reliable definition, any program should be described in detail and differentiated from what is taught in a regular or any other advanced classroom.

We must recognize the emotional connotations of terms related to "giftedness" and take care when any classroom as a "gifted" program. It may create an unintended rise in feelings of envy and anxiety as families pursue "gifted placement" for their child. "Achieving" placement in a gifted class should not be viewed as a measure of accomplishment, like making varsity in a sport. Gifted education, like all "special education" practices needs to involve a specific educational plan geared toward the unique needs of the child.

Extreme caution is needed before generalizing from this study to the entire field of gifted education. It is absurd to conclude that gifted children cannot benefit and flourish when offered appropriate gifted programming, just because gifted children in this particular study failed to improve. Hopefully, this study can be a springboard for further research into what actually helps gifted children rather than used to marginalize and dismantle what few gifted programs exist.

What do you think? Please leave your comments below.

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Fearless advocacy: A day in the life of a gifted child's parent

Gifted advocacy

What do you think about when you hear those words?

• Meetings with school administrators?

• Lobbying to get your gifted child identified?

• Insisting on ability grouping, enrichment or acceleration?

But battling with the schools is not the only place for advocacy; parents find themselves championing the needs of their gifted child wherever they go. Dismissive comments about gifted children are overheard as often at family reunions and the sidelines of soccer games as they are during parent-teacher conferences At first timid and uncertain, parents quickly learn that if they don't educate others about gifted children's differences, their own child will suffer.

Most parents never expected to become spokespersons for gifted children. Yet by default, they become experts, educators and ambassadors, endlessly explaining facts about giftedness to those who don't understand. They , always careful to avoid the appearance of boasting, and seamlessly reframe their child's offbeat behavior in light of gifted intellectual and social/emotional complexities. Every day can seem like a new challenge.

Here is a partial list of advocacy efforts that regularly occur in the life of a gifted child's parent:

(How many of these fit for you?)

1. Asking teachers for more complex, challenging, meaningful schoolwork (not extra homework or busy work)

2. Overcoming reluctance to tell friends and family that, yes, your child is gifted, has unique needs, and deserves accommodations in school

3. Explaining contradictory behaviors to others (why your child's immature or childlike behaviors do not negate her giftedness)

4. Meeting with school administrators to explain your child's needs and how they are not being met in the classroom or gifted pull-out program

5. Having to "apologize" for your child's "rude"  (blunt, uncensored) comments to teachers and other children ("So sorry he said the classwork was boring - I know he needs to learn tact. I guess he just wants something a little more challenging.")

6. Commenting in online forums, blogs or articles to remind others that no, not every child is gifted!

7. Explaining the difference between gifted traits and behaviors that warrant a (high energy, intense curiosity vs. ADHD; detailed, hyper focus on an area of interest vs. OCD)

8. Helping relatives, neighbors and other parents understand that your child's moods, quirks and intensities are associated with her giftedness (and are not behaviors she just does to be annoying)

9. Speaking up regularly at school board meetings to request (demand) more appropriate and necessary gifted services

10. Meeting with other parents of gifted children to form (groups, lobbying efforts with the schools, collaborative meetings with gifted supervisors)

11. Letting your young child's friends know that when he wants to play by himself, it's not because he doesn't like them; it's just because he really wants to play by himself

12. Researching alternative educational options and (online courses, subject acceleration, special projects, mentorships)

13. Learning about state-wide and nation-wide advocacy efforts and getting involved

14. Educating people you never thought you would have to inform about the complexities of giftedness: your child's teachers, pediatrician, coaches, spiritual leaders, trusted friends and family

15. Defending any accommodations offered to your child at school when others question the need for them (explaining that additional challenging work or acceleration is not a privilege or honor, but a necessity)

16. Advocating for yourself: asking for support and advice from those who understand, and letting those who don't understand know how hard it is for you

You never planned for this. No one prepared you. Yet, you are the chief proponent, enthusiast, spokesperson, defender, and champion of services for your child. It just comes with the territory. Once you about advocacy, you can move on to what is necessary.

You can make change happen.

Let us know what a day in the life of advocacy is for you in the comments
section below.


This blog is part of the Hoagies Gifted Education Page Blog Hop on Gifted Advocacy. To read more blogs in this hop, visit this Blog Hop at:

For the next blog in the Gifted Advocacy Blog Hop, click on the following link:

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The Top 5 Behaviors that Cause Parents to Lose Their Cool

I have just finished a 5-part series for titled The Top 5 Behaviors that Cause Parents to Lose Their Cool (and what to do about them).

Here are the links to view them on the Creative Child Magazine website.

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The $5 Million Embarrassment: What Our Nation Is Not Doing for Its Gifted Kids (guest post with Dr. James Delisle)

Question: What’s a gifted kid worth to the federal government?

Answer: Less than the cost of a Happy Meal.

I am honored to present a guest posting from esteemed author, professor, and long-standing gifted advocate, Dr. James Delisle. Keep reading...

We’re all aware of the enormous sums of money spent to meet the needs of kids with disabilities in our nation—about $13 billion federal dollars in 2013 alone. I don’t begrudge even a penny of this expenditure—all kids deserve to have an education that meets their individual learning needs—yet while the feds have both empathy and dollars to spread around for kids with disabilities, they harbor no such dedication to gifted kids. In fact, the entirecurrent federal budget for America’s gifted kids is $5 million. Divide that number by the estimated number of gifted kids in America—2.5 million—and each of our nation’s gifted kids gets about $2 worth of support. Trying buying lunch with that, much less an education!

My new book is titled Dumbing Down America: The War on Our Nation’s Brightest Young Minds (And What We Can Do To Fight Back). Some have questioned my use of the word war as overly dramatic or exaggerated, yet what other word better describes such rampant neglect of a segment of our student population so lacking in educational efforts to move them forward? When people spout that “gifted kids are able to take care of themselves . . . let’s spend money on kids who really need the help,” they are declaring that gifted kids have no needs at all that can’t be addressed by what schools already offer to them. But after 37 years of working with gifted kids as a teacher, counselor, professor, and dad, I can assert one thing: the naysayers are wrong; gifted kids exist and their needs are as complex and important to address as are those of any other child with a special learning need. This war against gifted kids needs to end. Saving smart kids isn’t our choice, it’s our obligation.

James R. Delisle, Ph.D., has worked with gifted children and their caregivers for 37 years. He is the author of 19 books, and his latest, Dumbing Down America: The War on our Nation's Brightest Young Minds (and What We Can Do to Fight Back) is published by (www.prufrock.com).

What do you think? Is there a war against gifted children? I know that I certainly agree with Dr. Delisle's points. Let us know what you think in the comments section below.

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Mother's Time Out - Free Telesummit for YOU

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Dangling Love

Picture this:

Sara has been very busy with the children today. She has played in the floor with her toddler, laughing, making memories. They made a car out of a cardboard box in between nursing and caring for her infant as well. The children are well taken care of and happy, but the house... Well the mess from the day's play is lying around when her husband, John, gets home. John shoots her a look of disapproval that makes her heart sink. Hasn't she been good enough, today? She goes over to connect with a hug, and he withdrawals from her. Feeling the sting of rejection, she immediately starts picking up the mess. John goes to take a shower. When he gets out, the mess is picked up, and the house looks good. He nods and gives his wife a loving hug. "This looks much better. Thank you."

What sort of feelings did this story bring up for you? How did it leave you feeling about John? About Sara? What can you deduce about their relationship from this story?

The question was posed on my recently, "If he doesn't pick up his toys, should I give him a hug as a reward?!"

Friends, love is not a reward. Hugs, attention, affection, kind words - these are not rewards to be dangled in front of a child, only given when he performs to our liking. These are a child's lifeline. They should be given without condition, without hesitation. Always.

We've developed this rather strange idea that loving children too much is bad for them, but if we offer just enough love at the right times, they will jump through hoops to get it. And they probably will, but they shouldn't have to. Withholding love and affection most certainly works to control a child because this is very real need, and they must get it met in whatever way they can, but take a moment to stop and feel the sadness that the child feels - the rejection, the feeling of needing to get it right before being worthy of love and affection.

I imagine Sara feeling a sense of relief, and even loved, once John gave her his affection and approval. I also imagine there is emotional instability and pain.

Please don't make children earn your affection. As Dr. Gordon Neufeld said, "If children want attention, then why on earth wouldn't we give it to them?"

Take a moment to watch this video in which Dr. Neufeld explains why children need to be able to rest in our love.

Too much love won't spoil. Kindness doesn't provoke poor behavior. Respect doesn't invite disrespect. This is backwards thinking which has caused us to feel trapped into being too harsh for too long. Generations of children are still searching and longing for unconditional love.

Let's make a change.

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Banish boredom from school for your gifted child

At some point, soon after gifted children start elementary school, something unexpected happens.

Boredom strikes.

It's not the typical backseat of the car are we there yet, sit through your sister's ballet recital, wait in line with mom at the grocery store boredom. That seems normal, although not without the requisite whining and complaints.

No, this is something new. Most gifted children have spent preschool and kindergarten indulging their creativity, following their muse, exploring whatever piqued their interest. But then real school starts.

It's not that school isn't boring for everyone some of the time. All of us have gone through this. But gifted children quickly realize that the degree of boredom they endure seems vastly different from what their peers experience.

• They finish papers, projects and reading much more quickly.

• They don't require the same level of repetition

• They hunger for a faster pace and greater complexity

• They see their classmates engaged in class and sometimes even struggling with assignments that are easy, and often simplistic for them.

• They may start to notice the when they ask "distracting" questions, complain they are bored, or talk too much.

This is all very puzzling. After all, enthusiasm for learning and creative exploration were encouraged a year or two ago. Now, they are told to cool their jets: wait, be patient while other kids catch up, and refrain from those pesky questions! Just when they thought they could delve into learning, like the big kids they used to admire, they find themselves standing still.

Soon their bewilderment morphs into anger, even as they settle into the classroom routine. This isn't what they expected! They would rather learn on their own, read a book, draw pictures, build Legos, or just use their imagination than reiterate facts they already know. Some go to the teacher and ask pointed questions like "why are we doing stuff we learned in preschool?" Or "why do we have to do the same thing over and over again when it's so easy?"

But most gifted children save their complaints for home. Parents get to witness their tears, angry outbursts, and refusal to complete assignments they label as "stupid" and not worth their time. After having suppressed frustration all day at school, they batter the family with misdirected anger. Parents must weather their child's disappointment and anger, limit conflict at home, provide empathy for their child's experience at school, and take care to not fuel further frustration by showing too much of their own distress. A delicate balance to achieve.

And when children cannot express frustration directly to their teacher or family, it may emerge in one of several forms:

Acting out - Some children entertain themselves by talking too much, becoming the class clown, or causing trouble in the classroom. At worst, frustration may be expressed through outright aggression - bullying, fighting, or using their advanced verbal skills to manipulate other classmates. Typically, parents receive feedback from teachers about their child's problem behaviors.

Internalizing  - These children don't show outward signs of distress, but instead, become shy, withdrawn, or develop physical symptoms, such as stomach-aches or headaches. They may become  anxious, have difficulty getting up in the morning, or refuse to go to school, citing physical complaints or vague fears. Often they fall below the radar, and teachers may not recognize their distress.

Regardless of whether the child's boredom is expressed overtly or indirectly, it can create long-lasting damage. Boredom fuels apathy, disregard for authority, underachievement, and sometimes a complete loss of interest in school. Even those gifted children who are remarkably patient and tolerate the situation are left with a distorted perception of their abilities. They may assume all academic challenges will be easy, never learn to struggle or push themselves, and fear failure. They avoid taking academic risks and may never reach their potential.

When schools are unable or unwilling to challenge gifted children, parents need to mobilize their efforts:

1. Start by asking for help.

Ask the teacher for advice. Approach him or her respectfully, , since this can be off-putting. Instead, focus on specific behaviors. Describe your child's distractibility, daydreaming, and complaints at home. (Sometimes schools are more open to ameliorating behavior problems than creating a more challenging learning environment.)  such as extending and enriching the curriculum, subject or grade , or gifted programming. If you are met with roadblocks, find out what further steps are needed .

2. Gather information.

Become informed. You need as much information about your child, your district's and , and available resources as possible. by a licensed psychologist or school psychologist. Testing provides valuable information about your child's strengths and weaknesses, and can offer concrete data that can aid in requesting additional services. Learn as much as you can about gifted children and their academic and social and emotional needs through books, websites such as , and , and even online forums such as .

3. Explore other options

Determine whether the school is the best possible fit for your child and whether other options should be considered. Sometimes a local or can provide relief and offer greater flexibility or a more challenging curriculum. Yet these options present limitations (financial or time constraints) that limit their suitability for some children and families. Public schools are free, and ideally, gifted children deserve access to an appropriate and challenging education that meets their needs.

4. Help your child adjust

You can offer ideas for coping with boredom, while still assuring your child you are advocating for change. Even when enrichment or acceleration are offered, many gifted children still endure periods of boredom. Your child benefits from learning coping skills for managing boredom at school.

• Ask the teacher for alternative activities for your child when classwork is completed; at the very least, get permission for him or her to draw or read a favorite book while the other students are still working

• Find enriching extra-curricular activities, depending on availability and your financial resources. These enhance life outside of school, although may not compensate for what the classroom lacks.

• As noted in a , you may need to help your child develop strategies for banishing boredom until the situation hopefully improves. For example, your child could learn to manage free time by coming up with more in-depth questions about the subject matter, creating a poem related to what is being taught, or composing a musical tune that fits with the reading material. 

Create a learning experience

You are your child's best role model and teach how to adapt to difficult situations through your actions. Your child will notice how readily you advocate, how respectfully you treat school staff, how strongly you push for change, and when it is appropriate to back down and accept a compromise. Children learn humility, respect, collaboration, appropriate assertiveness, and tolerance from this experience. There are no perfect solutions to addressing the dilemma of giftedness and boredom in the classroom, but you can help your child face this challenge through your caring, attentive and persistent presence.

What solutions have you found? Let us know in the comments section below.

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