Top blogs about gifted children, gifted education, and parenting

There are so many great blogs about gifted children, adolescents and adults, each of which provide a somewhat different perspective.

These blogs are written by teachers, parents, therapists, and researchers. They describe parenting dilemmas, personal triumphs and struggles, and research-based strategies that work. While there are also many wonderful websites, books, and blogsites specifically geared toward gifted education strategies, the blogs listed below were selected because of their focus on the social and emotional aspects of giftedness, parenting dilemmas, or advocacy.

Enjoy!

If I have inadvertently overlooked a blog that you would like to suggest for the list, please let me know! (Some blogs may have been excluded, though, if they have not been updated within the past year, list only a few  posts, are affiliated with much larger organizations, or whose sole purpose is to sell a product.) Again, let me know your thoughts or recommendations in the comments section below.

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Sending your gifted child to college: Providing support when fears arise

As families pack up their new college students for the journey ahead, emotions can range from exhilaration and relief to anxiety and sorrow. But coupled with the all too common worries about making new friends, dating, academics and fighting with roommates, gifted college freshman can harbor some particular questions and fears.

Many gifted teens are academically and emotionally unprepared for college.

Even those gifted teens who achieved high grades or received scholastic awards may have coasted through school feeling bored and unfulfilled. Many never had the opportunity to master truly challenging academics, face , or exert much effort despite achieving good grades. The end result can be underlying self-doubt, a poor work ethic, and/or an overinflated sense of their talents.

As Elaine Tuttle Hansen, executive director of Johns Hopkins Center for Talented Youth, stated several months ago in her on college-bound students, “it's time to acknowledge that even top students may have college-readiness problems.” 

Inadequate academic preparation may be the most obvious challenge for some, and may come as a rude awakening to gifted adolescents who exerted little effort in high school. Despite efforts to , college can present a range of challenges. Late night distress calls home, however, are often more reflective of the emotional rather than academic challenges these teens face as they start college. The questions gifted students may have include the following:

Will I fit in?

Gifted teens may have gotten used to being viewed as different, outliers, or , yet eventually settled into a familiar niche by the end of high school, even if they longed for something new. Entering a completely different social environment, though, may reawaken anxiety about peer acceptance, memories of earlier incidents of bullying, or insecurity about their interpersonal skills. They may worry about rejection, and question whether they should be true to themselves or suppress their natural curiosity or quirky interests.

Parents can remind them that they have new opportunities to meet different friends, that anxiety is common for most incoming freshman, and that they could look for clubs, groups and other activities where they can find like-minded peers. Point out that they eventually found their place in high school, and this will happen in college. If they continue to struggle, appear depressed, or show signs of excessive anxiety, they should be encouraged to seek out support from the college counseling center.

Will I be noticed?

The small fish, big pond world of most college campuses is a harsh reality for many accomplished students, especially when praise and recognition have bolstered underlying insecurity. Even small colleges can seem overwhelming when no one knows an individual’s abilities. While it may be a welcome relief to share classes with so many equally talented students, it can be a humbling reminder to gifted children that they are not so special after all.

Parents can point out that they will find their niche eventually, that it takes time to build connections, and that they are “special” regardless of how much they shine. Their “job” is to learn, grow and gain a good education. They do not have to be the best; they need to work hard, develop new skills, and find their path.

Will I succeed?

Praised for their talents and permitted to languish in “easy” classes, many gifted adolescents have no idea about what it takes to achieve success. College may provide the first awareness that talent is not enough; drive, hard work, organizational skills, and vision are necessary to get ahead. This sobering reality may force them to master new skills that are unfamiliar to them. To belabor a metaphor, the “small fish” may also feel like a fish out of water. Conversely, some gifted students have been perfectionists from the start, and place even more pressure on themselves once they reach college.

Remind them that college is not just geared toward academic learning, but toward the development of life lessons and skills toward a future career. They are learning what some of their peers recognized years ago; you have to work hard to achieve what you want. They also may have to ask for help, develop study skills, and reach out for guidance in difficult academic subjects. Perfectionistic students need to challenge their self-imposed standards and recognize when their expectations are too extreme.

Who am I without my talents?

Some gifted adolescents have become so identified with their talents and accomplishments that they question what might become of them without continued success. Their identity has been interwoven with recognition, awards and perfect test scores, and they may worry that any digression from this would betray loved ones and teachers who have championed their strengths. Even more, they may fear losing a sense of themselves if they fail to perform at a high level. While some existential anxiety is common for most college students, gifted students who overidentify with their achievements might limit class selection or career goals that present any risk, or feel guilt and despair if performance does not meet expectations.

Gifted adolescents need to be reminded that they are loved and appreciated for much more than their talents and abilities. Point out that they need to take risks to try new skills, take on new challenges, and investigate different forms of learning while in college. Remind them that what is most important is their intrinsic strength of character unrelated to their intellect. If they continue to experience feelings of depression, anxiety, or obsessive worrying about performance, counseling should be considered.

On a positive note...

Despite these fears, most gifted adolescents feel relieved and even thrilled to be in college. They are finally in an environment that values higher level thinking, intellectual engagement, and achievement. They no longer have to “hide” their interests and abilities due to fear of being criticized. They are surrounded by like-minded peers who also want to learn.

Best wishes for your child's safe, joyful and enlightening journey.

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Top Ten Take Aways from the 20th Biennial Conference of the World Council for Gifted and Talented Children

Photo courtesy of Ingrid Dallal Fratz

Attending this year’s was one of the highlights of my career in gifted advocacy! It was a week filled with incredible memories of friendships made, heroes met and a wealth of information that will enhance my work in the gifted advocacy.

Where else could I have invited a few friends over for the evening … from across the U.S., Mexico, Ireland, New Zealand, the UK and Vietnam? Where else could I meet leaders and icons from around the world? Where else could I have conversations … deep, significant conversations … with people whose work I’d followed for over a decade?

Attending conferences isn't something parents often do in the gifted community. In fact, many gifted organizations believe that their conferences are predominately for educators and academics. However, I cannot stress enough the value you will find in going to a conference. It doesn't have to be a national or international conference; consider a state or regional conference whenever available.

And now for my Top 10 Take Aways:

#10 Gluten-free diets are ‘catching on’.

# 9   was spot on!

#8   Networking is an excellent benefit of attending any conference.

#7   The World Conference with FREE wi-fi showcased how to use social media to 

an extent never before seen at a gifted conference. (This one’s for you, !)

      #6   Friendships made online are even better in real life.

Mary St. George, Leslie Graves, Lisa Conrad and Jen Merrill

#5   Parents are welcome at the World Council for Gifted and Talented Children … 

now they need to get involved.

#4   An older generation is poised to pass on the baton, but who is prepared to accept?

#3   Twitter can be used effectively to enhance the experience of both attendees and 

non-attendees to any conference without detriment to the organizer or presenter.

#2   Fate brought a lot of great people together!

#1   The World Council for Gifted and Talented Children is in good hands!

Missed the 20^thBiennial Conference of the World Council for Gifted and Talented Children? Check out these online resources and start making plans to attend the in Odense, Denmark, August 10 – 15, 2015!

for the 20^thBiennial Conference 

Listen to the  

About the  

20^th Biennial Conference on  

20^th Biennial Conference on  

in Kentucky from Jo Freitag

International Year of Giftedness and Creativity ()

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A life lesson for gifted children: failure

Let your gifted child fail.

What?

Many parents of gifted children, hardened from years of advocacy, might bristle at the idea of allowing their child to fail. They have encouraged their children to fulfill their talents, to strive for their best, to take on new challenges. Passively accepting a failing grade or poor performance may seem alien.

But it’s often the best life lesson a child can receive. And it’s better if it comes early.

Why is it so important?

Gifted children are used to doing well, accomplishing what they want, rising to the top. Although some may struggle with learning disabilities or deficits in a few areas, most grasp learning with ease. Many coast along and rarely push themselves as a result. We do them a disservice if they rarely face a challenge, if they never struggle, if they never fail. We rob them of the opportunity to learn resilience.

What is resilience?

Simply put, the Merriam-Webster dictionary defines resilience as "an ability to recover from or adjust easily to misfortune or change." The American Psychological Association expands this definition to include both a process and a learned behavior. According to the , “Resilience is the process of adapting well in the face of adversity…. Resilience is not a trait that people either have or do not have. It involves behaviors, thoughts and actions that can be learned and developed in anyone.”

When learning comes easily, tests are a breeze, and there is little challenge, children don’t get to develop resiliency skills.  Often this occurs when the curriculum is too slow or basic. The obvious solution is to ensure that gifted children receive an education that is stimulating and challenging. Other times, though, gifted children may avoid academically demanding situations because of their fear of failing. Not only do they deprive themselves of finally experiencing a true academic or creative challenge, they never get to flex their “resiliency muscles.”

Some reasons gifted children avoid taking risks include:

• Perfectionism – Not all gifted children are perfectionists, but those who are feel compelled to produce a stellar performance or piece of work, even when others do not expect this. Perfectionists often avoid challenges when the outcome is uncertain or where they might perform poorly.

• Heightened sensitivities – Highly sensitive and emotionally intense, many gifted individuals can overreact to even mild criticism. Comments intended to enhance growth may be perceived as overly harsh and taken as a global stamp of disapproval. Their sensitivity also may result in an avoidance of risk-taking.

• Defining self by ability – Some gifted children define themselves by their talents and abilities, and dread the possibility of failure. When consistently praised and recognized because of their talents, they can become overidentified with them, and believe that it is essential to maintain their standing as the “best” at what they do.  If they fail, they may feel devastated, as their sense of identity can feel threatened.

• Previous failures in social situations – Sometimes introversion, asynchronous development, or having interests that differ from those of their peers may have contributed to uncomfortable social interactions that felt like failures. Some gifted children may retreat into their intellectual or artistic pursuits, and fear the thought of losing this refuge if they were to fail.

The experience of failure itself is not helpful. What matters is what the child learns from it. 

Supportive encouragement to learn from the particular situation, challenge misconceptions about what occurred, and quickly move on can help children accept disappointment and develop resiliency. Resources for building resiliency in children are available in print and on the web, such as through the . Yet gifted children may have somewhat different needs.

What can you do to help your gifted child develop resiliency?

1.  Encourage your child to take academic risks. Achievements are more satisfying when they initially seemed out of reach. Don't let your child settle for shortcuts, or lavish praise over accomplishments that come too easily. Urge schools to provide appropriate gifted education that truly challenges your child.

2.  Distinguish between process and outcome – Offer an appreciation of how learning is a process involving uncertainty, excitement, confusion, and a range of unsolved mysteries. Your child’s job is to take on challenges he or she has not already mastered. Let your child know that you care as much about how he or she approaches learning as what is produced.

3.  Teach coping strategies – Help your child learn how to accept disappointment and loss without either blaming others or engaging in harsh self-criticism. Teach how to put adversity into perspective. Help your child learn to comfort, soothe, distract, seek support, and appropriately discharge feelings. (Note: Sometimes these skills may warrant .)

4.  Emphasize values – Promote the importance of ethics and integrity, cooperation and collaborative work, and taking responsibility for one’s role in the classroom.  Let your child know that actions and behaviors speak more about character than accomplishments, and that how one behaves is more important than always being the best. 

While most children find school to be reasonably demanding, gifted children frequently view academics as easy and even boring. Without a challenge, they may develop a distorted sense of their own abilities, a skewed perception of others' strengths, and a fear of taking risks when eventually faced with real challenges. Encouraging academic risk-taking at an early age, before fears and avoidance behaviors become entrenched, should help build confidence in their ability to master adversity and future challenges. 

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Help Wanted: Critical Thinkers

Is it just me, or is there a deficit of critical thinkers in the world today?

I’m pretty sure it’s not me. While many world leaders seemed fixated on budget deficits, I am much more worried about the lack of critical thinkers being produced these days. Perhaps it’s because I work in social media or maybe because it really irks me when people say and do stupid things, that I've become so sensitive to this issue.

And honestly … does anyone really care? Well, I do. I look around me and see a new generation, in all walks of life, who simply ‘can’t reason their way out of a paper bag’ much less solve problems that take skills beyond the fifth grade. I observe comments on Facebook between ‘20-somethings’ and say to myself, “We’re screwed!”

If you’re the parent of a gifted child, you may assume that you are immune to this scenario; but you’re not. This may be one of the most important reasons why parents need to advocate for gifted education in their child’s school. Gifted children need to be taught these thinking skills as much as the next kid; just at a higher level. Trust me.

Think I’m off-base? Take a look around you. Listen in on a conversation of young adults at a coffee shop discussing politics. When you hear the words “they’re all crooks” or “what difference can I make?” … worry. Walk into most college classrooms and ask the students about their expectations for dealing with the Earth’s water crisis or the effect of long-term degradation of a country’s infrastructure. You’ll probably be met with blank stares.

There are a lot of problems in the world today that need new ideas. And the problems are not getting any easier. We need a new generation of critical thinkers and your children are among those best equipped to solve these problems.

Is it every gifted child’s obligation to “save the world”? No, it is not. Each one has the right to determine their own future. However, one also needs to ask, “What kind of world do I want to live in; do I want my children to grow up in?”

At a more personal level, our children need to be able to decipher information which affects their own well-being. They need to know right from wrong; moral from immoral; the difference between absolute and degrees. They need to be able to recognize deceit.

There needs to be a new mindset, folks. All minds deserve the chance to grow; to stretch. That doesn't mean they need to reach a certain fixed point such as proficiency. They need to go as far as they can … to reach beyond that which they think they are capable. 

As parents, it is your job to do everything you can to ensure that possibilities exist for your child. Is that a fair statement? Probably not; but if not you … then who? No one, not even the best- intentioned person, will ever care more about your children than you. When they are young, you must advocate for them. As they grow, you become their guidance counselor. And finally when they reach adulthood, you should be their biggest supporter.

Parenting is an awesome responsibility. Take it seriously. Teach your children life skills that will enable them to be critical thinkers and problem-solvers. It takes time and commitment. 18 years seems like an eternity when you’re watching them take their first steps … but it is over in the twinkle of an eye! Remember, you are building a bridge to the future … both theirs and yours.

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Gifted children and the overachievement fallacy

"All it takes to be gifted is hard work. Those gifted children are such high achievers; that’s why they do so well in school. Their parents push them; that’s how they’ve gotten so far." Comments like these are pervasive, and overheard in schools, neighborhoods, and online discussions.

The accomplishments of gifted children are often falsely attributed to overachievement. The notion is that mastery primarily stems from overachievement rather than innate ability. These children are viewed as serious and goal-directed, their efforts driven by hard work, parental coaching or outside pressure. This view is held by both parents and teachers alike who fail to grasp the meaning of giftedness.

The media and recent bestsellers have perpetuated this belief. Amy Chua’s “Battle Hymn of the Tiger Mother” described a parent’s effort to encourage achievement at all costs, and Malcolm Gladwell’s “Outliers: The Story of Success” proposes that hard work and practice are more critical to success than innate ability. The backlash against ability grouping in schools further highlights the assumption that we are all alike; if we just try hard enough, are pushed relentlessly, or are exposed to an egalitarian classroom setting, we have an equal shot at excellence.

Yet, gifted individuals are different. With IQ scores at least two standard deviations above the norm, they not only acquire knowledge more rapidly, they think more divergently and with more complexity, and possess a range of emotional traits, such as heightened sensitivities. These are innate characteristics; they are unrelated to achievement or success. While many gifted individuals actually work passionately and diligently at what they pursue, this stems from an intrinsic desire to learn, create, or perfect what is meaningful to them. Internally motivated, if a topic sparks their interest, they will persevere. Otherwise, they may turn in a lackluster or even inadequate performance. In fact, many gifted individuals are underachievers who fail to live up to their potential. Confusing overachieving with giftedness diminishes the needs of gifted children, and overlooks the many underachieving or minimally challenged students misperceived as successful due to their adequate or even exceptional grades

.

So, what’s wrong with overachievement?

Some gifted children are overachievers, just like children who are not gifted. Highly motivated children and adults who strive to achieve their goals are driven, ambitious, and hard-working. They learn discipline and focus, and set high standards for themselves. These are necessary qualities in successful adults, and certainly admirable in children. Yet, the concept of overachieving implies going above and beyond what is expected and necessary. Overachievement in children often stems from outside pressure, a need to please others, or underlying insecurity. While they may experience a fleeting sense of accomplishment, when the excitement quickly fades, they feel compelled to pursue the next challenge. Their self-worth rests on validation from others, being the best, or gaining recognition. This may lead to burnout, extreme perfectionism, or feelings of despair when goals are not met.

The emotional burden that comes from overachievement is too high a price to pay. Although playing by the rules, healthy competition, and striving toward an external goal are all necessary learning experiences, they fail to instill an intrinsic drive. Harsh demands, unrealistic goals, and excessive coercion pressure children to achieve beyond what is developmentally appropriate. Encouragement to achieve in a supportive, challenging, stimulating learning environment is the most effective tool for enhancing any child’s academic success. It fuels intrinsic curiosity about learning, and avoids the pitfalls of achieving merely to conform, gain approval and bolster self-esteem. Finding this balance should foster continued academic success and interest in learning.

Chua, Amy. (2011). Battle hymn of the tiger mother. Penguin Group: New York.

Gladwell, Malcolm. (2011). Outliers: The story of success. Little, Brown & Co.: New York.

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So I’m gifted…Now what?

So what if I’m gifted?  Will others expect more from me?  Will I be seen as different? What if I don’t want to be gifted anymore?

When children, adolescents, or even adults, learn they are gifted, they can be flooded with a range of emotions. Initially there may be excitement and pride. Eventually, discomfort, anxiety and embarrassment may creep in. And a range of questions usually arise. 

What does this all mean? How will it affect my friendships, school work, or future career? What will my family and friends expect from me? Will this be more of a burden than a benefit?

In reality, identification of giftedness, following rigorous psychoeducational screening, serves to validate what most gifted individuals and their families already know. Screening is usually provided to determine whether mandated enriched/accelerated academic services are necessary; otherwise, it rarely would be offered. But in addition to opening doors to educational opportunity, the label itself carries substantial weight, and signifies a shift in self-perception. The validation and recognition may be a relief; the presumed additional expectations may seem a burden. 

What are some of the questions and concerns that accompany gifted identification?

In childhood: Children may not understand what being gifted means. They already sense that they are different, learn more quickly than their peers, or become easily bored in class. They may worry that this new label will isolate them from friends, force them to tackle extra busy work, or get bullied if they are seen as too smart. They may feel superior about their abilities and the ease with which they learn, but also feel confused and guilty about their pride. Since gifted children often possess a strong sense of morality, it may seem unfair that others lack the talents that they naturally possess. When family or teachers convey high expectations, gifted children might feel pressured to achieve, and become anxious and self-critical of even minor mistakes, or give up altogether. Even without external pressure, those gifted children who are already high achievers may interpret their gifted status as a mandate to aim for success, regardless of the costs. 

In adolescence:Teens struggle with ambivalence about being gifted. At a time when friendships are paramount, many would rather ignore academics and focus instead on having fun. They may worry that being gifted will exclude them from the desired peer group and make them seem “nerdy” and unattractive. Girls, in particular, may hide their talents to remain appealing to boys. Teens also may react to real or perceived pressure from parents or teachers to “live up to their potential.” While some rise to the challenge, others may become anxious and strive for perfection. Still others may rebel, perform poorly, and distance themselves from any association with their academic abilities. As high school graduation approaches, gifted teens struggle with how to choose a career path that will satisfy the expectations of others, yet meet their personal goals. In short, many gifted adolescents are acutely aware of the abilities they possess, and feel conflicted about how to fulfill their potential without either alienating or disappointing others.

In adulthood: Many gifted adults’ abilities were overlooked when they were children. They may have suspected their differences all along, but never received validation that their self-perception was accurate. Often, recognition of giftedness occurs without formal testing, and follows instead from an awareness that their complex thinking skills, innovative and creative solutions, or unusually quick grasp of difficult material outpaces their peers. Many gifted adults only suspect that they are gifted when their own gifted children show signs of exceptional ability and are undergoing evaluation. Recognition of their abilities enables acceptance of how their interests, drives and passions may have left them feeling out of sync with many of their peers. It also helps them appreciate that some of the behaviors that seem to cause them personal distress or interpersonal conflict are actually emotional and behavioral characteristics associated with giftedness, such as emotional intensity, overexcitabilities, impatience, non-conformity, introversion or perfectionism.

Acceptance of what it means to be gifted takes time. It is an individual process, and carries different implications for everyone. Parents and teachers need to appreciate that conflicting emotions can accompany the label of “gifted.” Recognizing these concerns, fears and misconceptions is the first step toward overcoming roadblocks to their academic, social and personal goals.  

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What stops girls from learning math?

Math is for geeks. Nerds. The robotics kids. Definitely not for girls.

Really?

Why do some girls go from budding math scholars in grade school to a “dumbed down” shell of themselves in high school? What happens to these gifted girls who love the logic, complexity and challenge of math, but feel they must forego their passion to fit in?

Girls actually excel at math and science, and most research has failed to find any striking differences between the genders in actual math ability^1,2. Math is as interesting to the girls as it is to boys in grade school. Yet, few girls pursue math as a career choice in college. According to , only 12% of engineering students are women, and 20% of women who received a math or science degree actually work in their field of study. 

  

What, then, drives girls away from math?

Lack of role models. Until recent years, women typically shied away from math and science as career choices. Even gifted girls who thrived in math often pursued other paths as they got older, as they could not envision themselves in a STEM (science, technology, engineering, math) career. Some researchers have suggested that lack of encouragement and a shortage of female role models in math-related fields have contributed to the shortage. A study of math achievement data for 14-16 year-olds from almost half a million students in 69 countries concluded that boys were not better at math; they were just more confident³. In addition, girls from countries where there was more gender equity performed better on math assessment tests. Those who performed poorly resided in countries where women have been devalued and where there were few successful female role models. The authors concluded that the presence of female role models who excel in math is critical to girls’ future success.

The importance of female role models and confidence in girls’ math abilities was also highlighted in another study of first and second grade students⁴. Poor math performance among girls was more likely to occur when their female teachers were uncomfortable with math. However, the teachers’ math anxiety had no impact on the boys in the study. The researchers concluded that these teachers were viewed as role models, and may have inadvertently conveyed their own discomfort with math, affecting the girls’ performance.

Gender role identification. Given the scarcity of female role models, and assumptions about male superiority in math, it would follow that girls who hold clearly defined gender role distinctions might feel less comfortable pursuing math. For example, one study of college students found that women who strongly identified with gender role stereotypes, and who were more likely to view themselves as feminine, performed worse in an introductory calculus class than women who did not hold similar views. Although there were no significant differences in their SAT math scores, these young women also were less likely to pursue a math-oriented career⁵.

Peer pressure. Just as teachers and adult role models may influence math achievement, peer pressure also plays a key role. As they enter adolescence, girls often feel torn between confidently expressing their talents, as they had in elementary school, and suppressing their abilities to fit in and receive attention from boys. If prevailing stereotypes brand math skills as “nerdy” or masculine, and if girls lack the self-esteem to excel in “traditionally” male fields, they may choose popularity over academics. Recent research has shown, for example, that high school girls frequently rely on the opinions of their female friends when deciding what level of math to take, and whether they should take additional math classes⁶. Peers’ attitudes can ultimately influence self-perception, academic risk-taking, and future career choices. 

  

Math anxiety. Insecurity and anxiety about math can manifest as full-blown panic during tests, obsessive preoccupation math performance, and avoidance of math classes when possible. It can contribute to poor grades, erode confidence in a range of academic abilities, and limit career goals. Although both genders experience math anxiety, a recent study⁷ supported previous findings indicating that girls were more likely to suffer from it than boys, and that math anxiety predicted poor test performance for girls, but not for boys.

So what can be done?

1.  Girls need exposure to women role models in math and the sciences, where they can see competent, vibrant women who excel in these fields. They need support so that they can embrace math without fear of being labeled “nerdy” or masculine in the process. Family encouragement is important, but schools also can offer opportunities for meeting women in math-related careers, or provide field trips to sites where women are employed in STEM careers. 

                                                                                                       

2.  Negative stereotypes about women’s abilities must be challenged and confronted. Girls, parents and schools need to be educated about the effect gender role stereotyping plays in limiting girls’ math achievement. Gifted girls, in particular, need to find resources where they can engage their curiosity and interests, and allow themselves to appreciate their strengths. For example, actress Danica McKellar challenges adolescent resistance to math through books and a website, , encouraging girls to excel at math.

3.  Try an anxiety-reduction plan to reduce anxiety about math.This could include gradual exposure to math-related situations, stress management and relaxation skills for approaching math problems, or challenging negative beliefs about math. Unrealistic expectations, perfectionism and self-doubt need to be challenged. Programs to address math anxiety are often available in guidance departments and college counseling centers. When math anxiety starts to affect self-esteem and erodes feelings of self-worth, though, therapy may be a helpful resource for understanding and managing the stress.

References 

1. Hyde, J & Mertz, J. (2009). Gender, culture and mathematics performance. Proceedings of the National Academy of Sciences, 106 (22), 8801-8807.

2. Lindberg, S. Hyde, J, Petersen, J., & Linn, M. (2010). New trends in gender and mathematics performance: A meta-analysis. Psychological Bulletin, 136(6), 1123-1135.

3. Else-Quest, N., Hyde, J.,& Linn, M. (2010). Cross-National Patterns of Gender Differences in Mathematics: A Meta-Analysis. Psychological Bulletin, 136 (1), 103-127.

4. Beilock, S., Gunderson, E., Ramirez, G., & Levine, S. (2010). Female teachers’ math anxiety affects girls’ math achievement. Proc Natl Acad Sci USA, 107 (5), 1860-1863.

5. Kiefer, A. & Sekaquaptewa, D. (2007). Implicit stereotypes, gender identification, an math-related outcomes: A prospective study of female college students. Psychological Science, 18, 13-18.

6.  Crosnoe, R., Riegle-Crumb, C., Fields, S., Frank, K., & Muller, C. (2008). Peer group contexts of girls and boys' academc experiences. Child Development, 79 (1), 139.

7.  Devine,  A. Fawcett, K. Szucs, D., % Dowler, A. (2012). Gender differences in mathematics anxiety and the relation to mathematics and performance while controlling for test anxiety. Behavioral and Brain Functions, 8, 33.

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The Social and Emotional Needs of Gifted Parents

Yes … you read that right! The experts love to discuss the social and emotional needs of gifted children, but what about their parents? Sometimes they are ‘included’ in an article about social- emotional needs, but only concerning how it relates to their children. Bah.

Where do I begin? Talk to any parent of a gifted child and you hear … all about how gifted their child is. That’s it? What about you? You do have needs, too. Being a good parent to a gifted child can only be enhanced by discovering and meeting your own needs along the way.

Here’s how the story often goes: baby is born; baby discovers Socratic learning; pre-school years arrive and it appears the child doesn't quite fit in; child is assessed with uncommon abilities … parents left wondering (for the most part) … how did this happen? Parents begin down the path of discovering exactly what it means to be gifted. Surprise! It’s suddenly apparent that they are on a parallel path … to self-discovery.

It’s one thing to have a social-emotional child. It is quite another to be a parent with unmet social-emotional needs and try to parent that child. Society is quick to judge perceived ‘bad parenting’, but it has even greater disdain for parents of gifted children who don't get it right.

So what’s a parent to do? Let’s check in with the few experts who do understand that it’s a tough job parenting these kids. Since they're experts, it’s a sure bet a few strategies have been devised to deal with the situation.

Strategy No. 1: Hit the books and the Google before it’s too late! Since it would be a bit presumptuous to start during birthing classes, the next best thing would be to learn all you can about ‘giftedness’ once it has been determined that your child is showing signs of accelerated development … the sooner; the better.

Strategy No. 2: Find a peer group. How do you do that? Often times, other adult gifted people do not admit they are gifted or simply do not know it. That makes the search for peers rather difficult. The best place to start is with groups … online groups found in places like Facebook, Twitter, SENG, and offline groups such as state gifted organizations with local affiliates and gifted parent support groups.

Strategy No. 3: Admit your own giftedness. You don’t need an IQ test to realize that you are different. The Institute for the Study of Advanced Development has a fantastic that will make identification fairly simple. A few of the characteristics listed there include: out-of-sync with others; overwhelmed by interests; passionate, intense feelings; and love intense discussions.

Have I piqued your interest? It is as important to discover and work to meet your own needs as it is to do the same for your child. It will make you a better person and a better parent. Understanding who you are and why you are that way will bring hope and enjoyment into your life. You will no longer be defined by what you feel others think about you. Now, isn't that reason enough to start down the road to self-discovery?

I've included a few links below to get you started:

“” by Stephanie Tolan 

“” by Deirdre V. Lovecky 

“” by Stephanie Tolan 

“” (book) by Willem Kuipers 

“” by Willem Kuipers

“” (click filename) by Andrew S. Mahoney

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Ungifted Intelligence Redefined … My Take

When I first heard about this book, my first thought was to ignore it and maybe it would go away (far away … like into the discount bin at Barnes & Noble). But here we are in June 2013 and Ungifted has just been released to glowing reviews by some very impressive, dare I say eminent, persons in the fields of psychology, neuroscience and education.

Everyone loves a winner! And Scott Barry Kaufman is quickly proving himself to be a winner. This is his third book out this year! And it’s only June. His educational background would be the envy of any gifted kid ~ he received his B.S. in Psychology and Human Computer Interaction from Carnegie Mellon University (co-incidentally at the same time my children were attending the ‘gifted’ program, C-Mites, at CMU); his M.Phil. in Experimental Psychology from Cambridge through a Gates Scholarship;  and a Ph.D. in Cognitive Psychology from Yale.

Impressed yet? He is an at NYU; blogger for ; co-founder of ; and Chief Science Advisor for . In 2012, he won the . But I digress …

Ungifted – it’s a title that will definitely sell books and spark debate in more fields than SBK holds degrees. And it should. It is well written, well researched (there are 50+ pages of notes and references) and if nothing else – well thought out. In fact, I'm guessing this book took root early in his life when he was mislabeled Learning Disabled. He subsequently remained misplaced until the ninth grade when he took matters into his own hands and self-elected out of the program into regular education classes.

Personally, I would have felt more comfortable with the title, Unlabeled. Labeling and all the implications attached to it are a recurring theme throughout the book. It is foremost about intelligence; a fact not to be overlooked. It also presents the author’s Theory of Personal Intelligence. I would tell you what it was … but you'll have to read the book.

I received my copy of Ungifted from the publisher with the intent that I would review it. I made no promises. I am not eminent in any field; which in the eyes of many would classify me immediately as ungifted. I did, however, read this book from the perspective of someone who has taught as a substitute and worked as a paraprofessional in special education for the past 11 years; who advocates for gifted education; and perhaps most importantly, as a parent. Much of what the author wrote struck a chord with me … with my heart.

A casual reading of Ungifted might result in the reader thinking that SBK believes “all children are gifted”. Say that in a room full of gifted parents and you better have your escape route planned! In the author’s own words, “This is not to say that at the individual differences level of analysis we are all equally intelligent, even by my definition.” (p. 305) 

And from the prologue, we glimpse his reason for writing this book:

“I firmly believe we can recognize and value every kind of mind without diminishing the value of others. I don't see intelligence as a zero-sum game: just because someone is talented (whatever that means) by the standards set by society doesn’t mean that the person who isn’t doesn’t have dynamic potential for intellectual functioning.”

So … why should the gifted community take notice of this book? We always talk about how we think our children should be challenged; so, why not all of us? This book challenges many long held beliefs. It should ignite a discussion on the potential of all children. Proponents (myself included) of the message that “giftedness is as much about who you are as about what you achieve” need to make a reasonable and intellectual assessment of Ungiftedand then respond accordingly.

Read this book. I think you'll be surprised at the many areas of agreement you’ll find. And as a reminder … understanding and empathy are gifts we should all cultivate.

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