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Revelations: The School for Gifted Potentials

Revelations is the second in a series ~ The School for Gifted Potentials ~ from Allis Wade and is as engaging as her first book – Orientation. In this new volume, we see Everett and his friends adjust to everyday life at their new school.

From my review of Orientation:

“Set one hundred years in the future, this story has the familiarity of a young

adult fantasy/science fiction novel …an enchanting tale of a boy unaware of

his origins and unsure of his future. Ringing dystopian for some and utopian

for others, the main character – Everett – lives in a world where gifted children

are sought out for their intellectual gifts and talents; and then whisked off to

a residential school where they are rarely ever allowed to see their families

again.” (The full review may be read .)

Revelationslives up to its title. There are many answers revealed from the first book, but just as many new questions are raised. The tangled web woven by his mother begins to unravel as the reader learns the truth behind Everett’s admission to the SFGP. But … all is not as it appears at the School for Gifted Potentials!

One thing is for sure … there is nothing predictable in this story line – nothing! It is layer upon layer of good writing and great strategies for parents and teachers of gifted students. Allis Wade takes complex concepts associated with giftedness and makes them understandable for all. Her experiences with gifted children are evident throughout the book.

The author does not shy away from difficult situations ~ separation of mother and son, sibling rivalry, and the inequity prevalent in real world schools between regular education and gifted education. She delves deeply into parental struggles … love lost; a fatherless child; lies told to children in an attempt to protect them; a mother’s love so strong she is willing to lose her child in order to provide him with the best possible education.

Who is the audience for this series? Gifted students will learn how to deal with bullying, perfectionism, coping with failure, asynchronous development and Dweck’s work on mindsets. Parents will learn about Dabrowski’s Theory of Over-Excitabilities. Teachers will see how to incorporate Project-Based Learning into their curriculum, build meaningful relationships with their students and see the possibilities of ‘teacher-as-coach’.

There are many books written about gifted education and giftedness. Good fictional tales, however, involving gifted children are few and far between. I encourage parents to read these books and then pass them on to their children as I believe both will benefit from the them.

Everett has a tough decision to make about his future at the end of Revelations. The reader has an easier task – awaiting the arrival of the next book from Allis Wade. I personally hope that the wait is a short one!

Postscript: Discussion questions at the end of the book are just what you would expect from an author who is also a teacher. This addition makes the book a perfect choice to be used in a gifted classroom. These thought provoking questions will guide the readers to a better understanding of the nature of giftedness.

Addendum: My thanks to the author for providing a digital copy of this book for review.

Supporting musically talented children: Challenging social and emotional roadblocks to success

Musically talented children often face an uphill battle when trying to maintain enthusiasm for their studies. What typically starts with excitement and focused effort can end in boredom, apathy and disappointment. Several authors (e.g., Haroutounian, 2002; Parncutt & McPherson, 2002) have offered ideas for enhancing musical training and motivating young musicians. Yet, parents often question how to support and sustain their child’s passion when interest starts to wane.

Along with offering training that enriches their musical education, it is just as important to anticipate, challenge and eliminate social and emotional barriers to success.While the technical challenges and demands of music performance are an ever present reality, children need help navigating the emotional pressure and uncertainty they may experience at different stages of their progress.

Offering emotional support to musically talented children is often as critical as the music instruction itself.

Some of the emotional roadblocks parents and teachers may need to address to support gifted young musicians include the following:

1. Boredom – Repetitive practice, studies that fail to spark interest, and distraction can sap the drive and passion out of any aspiring young musician. Attention span varies depending on the child’s age, as younger musicians may need more breaks and shorter practice time, and adolescents may need an environment free from competing distractions, such as electronics, phones and other interruptions. Capturing their interest and engaging their creative spark is essential. Adolescents need a sense of purpose and understanding of the methodology to their practice (i.e.,”why am I doing this?”), and may quickly lose interest if they dislike, misunderstand or dispute why they need to practice in a certain manner. Some rudimentary understanding of music theory may help to spark their intellectual curiosity and help them stay motivated.

2. Perfectionism – While music performance ultimately requires perfecting one’s repertoire, some gifted young musicians become preoccupied with achieving unrealistic results and develop exceptionally high standards for themselves. They become frustrated and self-critical if they fail to achieve their goals, and may allow a real or perceived setback to undermine their confidence and overall sense of well-being. While a goal-oriented approach and dedication to one’s craft is admirable, it can be a curse for a child who buckles under pressure to succeed beyond what is reasonable. Perfectionism is a characteristic that has been frequently associated with giftedness, and as Silverman (1999) has noted, it can be a catalyst toward excellence and not necessarily a sign of emotional disturbance. However, musically talented children who are unable to strive for excellence without unrealistically rigid and harsh expectations, and who cannot modify these standards with the support of parents and teachers may need counseling to learn to challenge these beliefs.

3. Performance anxiety– These fears can include worries about being judged, freezing under pressure, making mistakes in public, forgetting a part when performing from memory, or being the center of attention. While a problem that often plagues even accomplished musicians, Kemp & Mills (2002) pointed out that performance anxiety affects young musicians as well. A variety of cognitive, mindfulness and imagery tools can be helpful. Green (1986) offers an excellent resource for challenging thoughts and behaviors that contribute to these fears. If performance anxiety interferes significantly, counseling also may be beneficial.

4. Disappointment – All musicians eventually face rejection. Helping children handle disappointment requires significant effort from parents, as these children may lack the developmental tools for understanding how “unfair” the world can be. Gifted children, in particular, have an acute sense of , and may become outraged or disillusioned if they feel someone has been mistreated. Adolescents may give up their musical goals completely if disappointed, choosing to abandon their dreams rather than suffer another rejection. They also must grapple with feelings of envy when others surpass them, and may respond with anger, bitterness, or despair. Adults need to help children put their feelings into perspective and learn that they cannot control some of the unpredictable variables associated with success. However, they can focus on their own progress, learn what they can change so that they improve, and develop a plan that will allow them to reach their goals.

5. Social isolation– Although many musically gifted children are introverted (Kemp & Mills, 2002), they may still suffer from the negative effects of social isolation. Focusing for hours on practice is a solitary activity that also may preclude participation in other extra-curricular or social activities. Performing in a band, choir or ensemble is enriching, but practice can be a lonely pursuit. Children who are not musically trained often do not understand how much dedication and practice is required, and may tease or cajole the young musician to stop practicing. Gifted young musicians need to be reminded of their goal, find meaning in their practice, and build in breaks where they have contact with others to alleviate feelings of isolation. Frequent participation in music ensembles can provide much needed relief from isolation, providing shared purpose and goals, a sense of unity with others, and an opportunity to meet friends with similar interests.

5. Anxiety about career paths – Many adolescent musicians realistically question whether music is a viable career path. They are aware of the job market and the highly competitive struggle to find meaningful work. Parents and teachers can help them identify whether their talent and passion may be sufficient to sustain the challenge of pursuing a performance career, or if they are temperamentally suited to pursue another goal, such as music education, music technology, or music administration. Rather than dismissing their dream of a music career, providing realistic information about costs, salaries, job prospects, and lifestyle factors is important in guiding them to the right decision.

Offering emotional support to musically talented children is often as critical as the music instruction itself. Many potential careers have been thwarted by disillusionment and anxiety, and might have been salvaged with some clear support and guidance. or teachers of theses remarkable students, but must be considered an essential component to their success.

* An expanded version of this article is published in the National Association of Gifted Children Arts Newsletter, Vol. 1, Issue 1, Fall, 2013.

References

Green, B. (1986). The Inner Game of Music. New York: Doubleday.

Haroutounian, J. (2002). Kindling the Spark. New York: Oxford University Press.

Kemp, A. & Mills, J. (2002). Musical potential. In Parncutt, R., & McPherson, G. (Eds.) The Science and Psychology of Performance, (Pp. 3-16). New York: Oxford University Press.

Parncutt, R., & McPherson, G. (Eds.) The Science and Psychology of Performance. New York: Oxford University Press.

Silverman, L. (1999). Perfectionism: The crucible of giftedness. Advanced Development, 8, 47-61.

Gifted education "lite": Helping your child adapt

When a child is identified for gifted services, parents usually feel relief. “Finally, my child will get the education he needs.” “Now she’ll be challenged and energized by learning.” But what many parents soon realize is that the much anticipated gifted program has gaping holes, glaring inadequacies and an array of watered-down services. It starts to look more like “gifted lite” than a bona fide educational plan.

It’s not that most schools don’t attempt to meet gifted children’s needs. It’s just that budgetary constraints, , or philosophical differences frequently place limits on what is offered. Sometimes gifted children receive no more than one hour a week of a pull-out program. Sometimes, they get a few extra assignments. Sometimes they are enlisted to tutor other children. These inadequate attempts at gifted education fail to address the full-time needs of children who are gifted all day long, not just for a few hours of enriched instruction.

Until the public school system offers more than a lukewarm attempt at meeting the needs of its gifted children, parents are left to advocate for their children. Many spend years , administrators, and school board members, achieving only incremental success. Other parents pursue , cyber school, or home schooling. These outside alternatives may provide more enriched and individualized programs for gifted children, but might not be locally available, financially feasible, or even appropriate for a given child or family. offers a wealth of benefits private schools cannot provide (such as a greater selection of classes and extra-curricular activities, as well as sociocultural diversity), and an exodus of students from the school district does nothing to improve a system that taxpayers fund. (See a recent blog post about this on )

So, how can you help your child when your school’s best option looks a lot like gifted education “lite?” How do you prepare your child for an imperfect and sometimes disappointing classroom experience? How can you help your child adapt?

1. Advocacy

First, let your child know that you will continue to for the services she needs. Help her understand and explain why she may feel impatient or bored with some of her classes. Let her know that all of the children in her class deserve an appropriate education, not just the gifted kids. With only one teacher, sometimes not everyone gets what they need. Let her know that you will continue to work with the school to see if they can offer more interesting material for her, if possible. Until then, she will have to adapt to the situation.

2. Practice Assertive Skills

Help your child learn to tactfully and appropriately assert himself. Teach him how to ask for more challenging school work in a manner that is most likely to work. Teachers respond best to children who are assertive, but not pushy, clingy or demanding. You could role play various situations with your child to help him learn what to say. Teach him to notice cues, so he can avoid interrupting the teacher at inconvenient times. Help him identify what he might want to say. For example, he may want to study a topic in greater depth, write a creative story about an area of interest, or tackle more challenging math problems. When he is detailed and specific, it saves the teacher time and effort, and increases the likelihood that he will receive material tailored to his interests.

3. Banish Boredom

Teach your child creative ideas for enriching her learning experience. If she complains about feeling bored in class (and you have exhausted your options for obtaining enriched/accelerated alternatives), help her develop strategies for entertaining herself. For example, she could (silently) ask herself more in depth questions about the subject matter, invent a rhyme for what she is learning, or compose a musical tune to link together material she is reading. Helping your child learn how to manage feelings of boredom in class is a skill that will be a benefit to her in a variety of situations.

4. Model Tolerance

Contain your anger as much as possible. You may certainly want to validate your child’s feelings and empathize with how bored he might feel. However, it will fuel your child’s frustration if you complain about the program’s inadequacies. Your reaction can serve as a model for how to be persistent with advocacy, but also respectful toward the individuals involved, and strategic in identifying what battles to pick. You can be a role model of patience, tolerance, and acceptance in the face of disappointment.

Many gifted children recognize that some classes, programs, and years in school are more engaging and challenging than others. They benefit from an understanding that this ebb and flow will continue throughout their time in school. Until public education is able to consistently support the needs of gifted children and adolescents, parents can help their children develop the skills, creativity and patience to learn as much as possible in an imperfect situation.

When children realize they are gifted

Maybe it happens when they realize that they can multiply and their classmates cannot even add. Maybe it’s when they figure out there’s no Santa or Tooth Fairy, long before their friends know. Maybe it’s when the same old games their friends are playing just seem silly and boring.

AHA!!!

At some point, gifted children recognize that they are different from their peers. No one has to tell them. They realize it on their own. Often there is a defining moment when it first registers that they “get it” in ways others will never grasp. Frequently this realization is accompanied by pride and excitement, but sometimes by confusion or even guilt. “Hey, I thought my friends were just like me. Why don’t they see things the same way? What does it mean if I figure things out so quickly? Will it mean I’ll always be different?”

Young children don’t understand what “gifted” means. But they do notice the fuss parents and teachers make about their abilities. When too much praise is offered, they may become confused. “I don’t get any reward for cleaning up my toys, but they make a big deal about something that comes so easily to me.” “Why is it so important that I can solve math problems the other kids can’t do? Does this make me better than them?” Due to a lack of maturity, young children also may become bossy and impatient with peers who fail to perform at their ability level. Gifted children can start to believe that their intelligence is critical to their self-concept, and that performing poorly will disappoint those who love them. They may believe that their abilities are all that matter about them.

Most gifted children will not articulate their “aha” moment. Gifted adults sometimes recall their first awareness of being gifted. But young children have neither the words, nor the maturity to fully put it in perspective. Parents should be alert to signs that their child is comparing his or her abilities to those of others. Comments or questions regarding differences in skills, devaluing peers for being too “slow,” expressions of impatience and boredom, excessive boasting about accomplishments, and complaints about feeling misunderstood because of precocious interests all warrant discussion. what it means to be gifted, and that their abilities make them no more “special” than their friends. Rather than a confusing, ambivalent experience, a child's awareness of being gifted should be a positive awakening, and a threshold to endless possibilities. Parents are in an ideal position to provide the framework and guidance to help their child understand it.

What were the defining moments when you realized you were gifted?

It is a basic tenet of education that EVERY child has the right to experience growth ultimately leading to the attainment of their own full potential.
Removing gifted education from the public realm promotes elitism … only the wealthy can afford private schools, tutors, enrichment.
Failure to support and nurture our high flyers, our creative types, our innovators and yes, our dreamers … ultimately slows the progress of human development.
All segments of society are educated in public schools – thus providing a reservoir of potential to be identified as gifted.
Dismantling gifted education programs in public schools spurs the creation of alternative forms of education which drain the entire system of financial resources meant for the education of all children.
Failure to understand the nature of giftedness and how a lack of challenge may cause the loss of individual potential will be reflected in a nation’s loss in research and development, economic viability, and competitiveness on the global stage.
Public education offers the best opportunity (when available) of peer interaction for identified gifted children.
Public schools overall are made better and stronger IF and WHEN they choose to provide gifted students an appropriate learning environment.
And because … history will one day look back and question the shortsightedness of those who chose to ignore the needs of the gifted student.

Think about the choices you've made or had to make as the parent of a gifted child. I am guessing that many of you, in retrospect, would have made different choices had they been available to you or within reach. Advocating for strong gifted programs in our public schools for the sake of all children just makes good sense.

Top blogs about gifted children, gifted education, and parenting

There are so many great blogs about gifted children, adolescents and adults, each of which provide a somewhat different perspective.

These blogs are written by teachers, parents, therapists, and researchers. They describe parenting dilemmas, personal triumphs and struggles, and research-based strategies that work. While there are also many wonderful websites, books, and blogsites specifically geared toward gifted education strategies, the blogs listed below were selected because of their focus on the social and emotional aspects of giftedness, parenting dilemmas, or advocacy.

Enjoy!

If I have inadvertently overlooked a blog that you would like to suggest for the list, please let me know! (Some blogs may have been excluded, though, if they have not been updated within the past year, list only a few posts, are affiliated with much larger organizations, or whose sole purpose is to sell a product.) Again, let me know your thoughts or recommendations in the comments section below.

Sending your gifted child to college: Providing support when fears arise

As families pack up their new college students for the journey ahead, emotions can range from exhilaration and relief to anxiety and sorrow. But coupled with the all too common worries about making new friends, dating, academics and fighting with roommates, gifted college freshman can harbor some particular questions and fears.

Many gifted teens are academically and emotionally unprepared for college.

Even those gifted teens who achieved high grades or received scholastic awards may have coasted through school feeling bored and unfulfilled. Many never had the opportunity to master truly challenging academics, face , or exert much effort despite achieving good grades. The end result can be underlying self-doubt, a poor work ethic, and/or an overinflated sense of their talents.

As Elaine Tuttle Hansen, executive director of Johns Hopkins Center for Talented Youth, stated several months ago in her on college-bound students, “it's time to acknowledge that even top students may have college-readiness problems.”

Inadequate academic preparation may be the most obvious challenge for some, and may come as a rude awakening to gifted adolescents who exerted little effort in high school. Despite efforts to , college can present a range of challenges. Late night distress calls home, however, are often more reflective of the emotional rather than academic challenges these teens face as they start college. The questions gifted students may have include the following:

Will I fit in?

Gifted teens may have gotten used to being viewed as different, outliers, or , yet eventually settled into a familiar niche by the end of high school, even if they longed for something new. Entering a completely different social environment, though, may reawaken anxiety about peer acceptance, memories of earlier incidents of bullying, or insecurity about their interpersonal skills. They may worry about rejection, and question whether they should be true to themselves or suppress their natural curiosity or quirky interests.

Parents can remind them that they have new opportunities to meet different friends, that anxiety is common for most incoming freshman, and that they could look for clubs, groups and other activities where they can find like-minded peers. Point out that they eventually found their place in high school, and this will happen in college. If they continue to struggle, appear depressed, or show signs of excessive anxiety, they should be encouraged to seek out support from the college counseling center.

Will I be noticed?

The small fish, big pond world of most college campuses is a harsh reality for many accomplished students, especially when praise and recognition have bolstered underlying insecurity. Even small colleges can seem overwhelming when no one knows an individual’s abilities. While it may be a welcome relief to share classes with so many equally talented students, it can be a humbling reminder to gifted children that they are not so special after all.

Parents can point out that they will find their niche eventually, that it takes time to build connections, and that they are “special” regardless of how much they shine. Their “job” is to learn, grow and gain a good education. They do not have to be the best; they need to work hard, develop new skills, and find their path.

Will I succeed?

Praised for their talents and permitted to languish in “easy” classes, many gifted adolescents have no idea about what it takes to achieve success. College may provide the first awareness that talent is not enough; drive, hard work, organizational skills, and vision are necessary to get ahead. This sobering reality may force them to master new skills that are unfamiliar to them. To belabor a metaphor, the “small fish” may also feel like a fish out of water. Conversely, some gifted students have been perfectionists from the start, and place even more pressure on themselves once they reach college.

Remind them that college is not just geared toward academic learning, but toward the development of life lessons and skills toward a future career. They are learning what some of their peers recognized years ago; you have to work hard to achieve what you want. They also may have to ask for help, develop study skills, and reach out for guidance in difficult academic subjects. Perfectionistic students need to challenge their self-imposed standards and recognize when their expectations are too extreme.

Who am I without my talents?

Some gifted adolescents have become so identified with their talents and accomplishments that they question what might become of them without continued success. Their identity has been interwoven with recognition, awards and perfect test scores, and they may worry that any digression from this would betray loved ones and teachers who have championed their strengths. Even more, they may fear losing a sense of themselves if they fail to perform at a high level. While some existential anxiety is common for most college students, gifted students who overidentify with their achievements might limit class selection or career goals that present any risk, or feel guilt and despair if performance does not meet expectations.

Gifted adolescents need to be reminded that they are loved and appreciated for much more than their talents and abilities. Point out that they need to take risks to try new skills, take on new challenges, and investigate different forms of learning while in college. Remind them that what is most important is their intrinsic strength of character unrelated to their intellect. If they continue to experience feelings of depression, anxiety, or obsessive worrying about performance, counseling should be considered.

On a positive note...

Despite these fears, most gifted adolescents feel relieved and even thrilled to be in college. They are finally in an environment that values higher level thinking, intellectual engagement, and achievement. They no longer have to “hide” their interests and abilities due to fear of being criticized. They are surrounded by like-minded peers who also want to learn.

Best wishes for your child's safe, joyful and enlightening journey.

Top Ten Take Aways from the 20th Biennial Conference of the World Council for Gifted and Talented Children

Photo courtesy of Ingrid Dallal Fratz

Attending this year’s was one of the highlights of my career in gifted advocacy! It was a week filled with incredible memories of friendships made, heroes met and a wealth of information that will enhance my work in the gifted advocacy.

Where else could I have invited a few friends over for the evening … from across the U.S., Mexico, Ireland, New Zealand, the UK and Vietnam? Where else could I meet leaders and icons from around the world? Where else could I have conversations … deep, significant conversations … with people whose work I’d followed for over a decade?

Attending conferences isn't something parents often do in the gifted community. In fact, many gifted organizations believe that their conferences are predominately for educators and academics. However, I cannot stress enough the value you will find in going to a conference. It doesn't have to be a national or international conference; consider a state or regional conference whenever available.

And now for my Top 10 Take Aways:

#10 Gluten-free diets are ‘catching on’.

# 9 was spot on!

#8 Networking is an excellent benefit of attending any conference.

#7 The World Conference with FREE wi-fi showcased how to use social media to

an extent never before seen at a gifted conference. (This one’s for you, !)

#6 Friendships made online are even better in real life.

Mary St. George, Leslie Graves, Lisa Conrad and Jen Merrill

#5 Parents are welcome at the World Council for Gifted and Talented Children …

now they need to get involved.

#4 An older generation is poised to pass on the baton, but who is prepared to accept?

#3 Twitter can be used effectively to enhance the experience of both attendees and

non-attendees to any conference without detriment to the organizer or presenter.

#2 Fate brought a lot of great people together!

#1 The World Council for Gifted and Talented Children is in good hands!

Missed the 20^thBiennial Conference of the World Council for Gifted and Talented Children? Check out these online resources and start making plans to attend the in Odense, Denmark, August 10 – 15, 2015!

for the 20^thBiennial Conference

Listen to the

About the

20^th Biennial Conference on

in Kentucky from Jo Freitag

International Year of Giftedness and Creativity ()

A life lesson for gifted children: failure

Let your gifted child fail.

What?

Many parents of gifted children, hardened from years of advocacy, might bristle at the idea of allowing their child to fail. They have encouraged their children to fulfill their talents, to strive for their best, to take on new challenges. Passively accepting a failing grade or poor performance may seem alien.

But it’s often the best life lesson a child can receive. And it’s better if it comes early.

Why is it so important?

Gifted children are used to doing well, accomplishing what they want, rising to the top. Although some may struggle with learning disabilities or deficits in a few areas, most grasp learning with ease. Many coast along and rarely push themselves as a result. We do them a disservice if they rarely face a challenge, if they never struggle, if they never fail. We rob them of the opportunity to learn resilience.

What is resilience?

Simply put, the Merriam-Webster dictionary defines resilience as "an ability to recover from or adjust easily to misfortune or change." The American Psychological Association expands this definition to include both a process and a learned behavior. According to the , “Resilience is the process of adapting well in the face of adversity…. Resilience is not a trait that people either have or do not have. It involves behaviors, thoughts and actions that can be learned and developed in anyone.”

When learning comes easily, tests are a breeze, and there is little challenge, children don’t get to develop resiliency skills. Often this occurs when the curriculum is too slow or basic. The obvious solution is to ensure that gifted children receive an education that is stimulating and challenging. Other times, though, gifted children may avoid academically demanding situations because of their fear of failing. Not only do they deprive themselves of finally experiencing a true academic or creative challenge, they never get to flex their “resiliency muscles.”

Some reasons gifted children avoid taking risks include:

Perfectionism – Not all gifted children are perfectionists, but those who are feel compelled to produce a stellar performance or piece of work, even when others do not expect this. Perfectionists often avoid challenges when the outcome is uncertain or where they might perform poorly.

Heightened sensitivities – Highly sensitive and emotionally intense, many gifted individuals can overreact to even mild criticism. Comments intended to enhance growth may be perceived as overly harsh and taken as a global stamp of disapproval. Their sensitivity also may result in an avoidance of risk-taking.

Defining self by ability – Some gifted children define themselves by their talents and abilities, and dread the possibility of failure. When consistently praised and recognized because of their talents, they can become overidentified with them, and believe that it is essential to maintain their standing as the “best” at what they do. If they fail, they may feel devastated, as their sense of identity can feel threatened.

Previous failures in social situations – Sometimes introversion, asynchronous development, or having interests that differ from those of their peers may have contributed to uncomfortable social interactions that felt like failures. Some gifted children may retreat into their intellectual or artistic pursuits, and fear the thought of losing this refuge if they were to fail.

The experience of failure itself is not helpful. What matters is what the child learns from it.

Supportive encouragement to learn from the particular situation, challenge misconceptions about what occurred, and quickly move on can help children accept disappointment and develop resiliency. Resources for building resiliency in children are available in print and on the web, such as through the . Yet gifted children may have somewhat different needs.

What can you do to help your gifted child develop resiliency?

1. Encourage your child to take academic risks. Achievements are more satisfying when they initially seemed out of reach. Don't let your child settle for shortcuts, or lavish praise over accomplishments that come too easily. Urge schools to provide appropriate gifted education that truly challenges your child.

2. Distinguish between process and outcome – Offer an appreciation of how learning is a process involving uncertainty, excitement, confusion, and a range of unsolved mysteries. Your child’s job is to take on challenges he or she has not already mastered. Let your child know that you care as much about how he or she approaches learning as what is produced.

3. Teach coping strategies – Help your child learn how to accept disappointment and loss without either blaming others or engaging in harsh self-criticism. Teach how to put adversity into perspective. Help your child learn to comfort, soothe, distract, seek support, and appropriately discharge feelings. (Note: Sometimes these skills may warrant .)

4. Emphasize values – Promote the importance of ethics and integrity, cooperation and collaborative work, and taking responsibility for one’s role in the classroom. Let your child know that actions and behaviors speak more about character than accomplishments, and that how one behaves is more important than always being the best.

While most children find school to be reasonably demanding, gifted children frequently view academics as easy and even boring. Without a challenge, they may develop a distorted sense of their own abilities, a skewed perception of others' strengths, and a fear of taking risks when eventually faced with real challenges. Encouraging academic risk-taking at an early age, before fears and avoidance behaviors become entrenched, should help build confidence in their ability to master adversity and future challenges.

Help Wanted: Critical Thinkers

Is it just me, or is there a deficit of critical thinkers in the world today?

I’m pretty sure it’s not me. While many world leaders seemed fixated on budget deficits, I am much more worried about the lack of critical thinkers being produced these days. Perhaps it’s because I work in social media or maybe because it really irks me when people say and do stupid things, that I've become so sensitive to this issue.

And honestly … does anyone really care? Well, I do. I look around me and see a new generation, in all walks of life, who simply ‘can’t reason their way out of a paper bag’ much less solve problems that take skills beyond the fifth grade. I observe comments on Facebook between ‘20-somethings’ and say to myself, “We’re screwed!”

If you’re the parent of a gifted child, you may assume that you are immune to this scenario; but you’re not. This may be one of the most important reasons why parents need to advocate for gifted education in their child’s school. Gifted children need to be taught these thinking skills as much as the next kid; just at a higher level. Trust me.

Think I’m off-base? Take a look around you. Listen in on a conversation of young adults at a coffee shop discussing politics. When you hear the words “they’re all crooks” or “what difference can I make?” … worry. Walk into most college classrooms and ask the students about their expectations for dealing with the Earth’s water crisis or the effect of long-term degradation of a country’s infrastructure. You’ll probably be met with blank stares.

There are a lot of problems in the world today that need new ideas. And the problems are not getting any easier. We need a new generation of critical thinkers and your children are among those best equipped to solve these problems.

Is it every gifted child’s obligation to “save the world”? No, it is not. Each one has the right to determine their own future. However, one also needs to ask, “What kind of world do I want to live in; do I want my children to grow up in?”

At a more personal level, our children need to be able to decipher information which affects their own well-being. They need to know right from wrong; moral from immoral; the difference between absolute and degrees. They need to be able to recognize deceit.

There needs to be a new mindset, folks. All minds deserve the chance to grow; to stretch. That doesn't mean they need to reach a certain fixed point such as proficiency. They need to go as far as they can … to reach beyond that which they think they are capable.

As parents, it is your job to do everything you can to ensure that possibilities exist for your child. Is that a fair statement? Probably not; but if not you … then who? No one, not even the best- intentioned person, will ever care more about your children than you. When they are young, you must advocate for them. As they grow, you become their guidance counselor. And finally when they reach adulthood, you should be their biggest supporter.

Parenting is an awesome responsibility. Take it seriously. Teach your children life skills that will enable them to be critical thinkers and problem-solvers. It takes time and commitment. 18 years seems like an eternity when you’re watching them take their first steps … but it is over in the twinkle of an eye! Remember, you are building a bridge to the future … both theirs and yours.