2013

Home » Archives for 2013

All Children Are Challenged in the Regular Classroom ???

Well, not really. You may not hear those words exactly, but you might hear things like: “Our school’s philosophy is one of full inclusion where all children’s strengths are celebrated.” OR “Our teachers differentiate their instruction to provide an individualized education for all our students.” OR “We feel that accelerating your child beyond their current grade level would prove detrimental to their social well-being. Your child will benefit from interacting with all their peers.”

Here’s what you need to understand. Much of this language comes straight from Special Education. Gifted Education falls under the Special Education umbrella in many states and also in for pre-service teachers. (In federal policy, gifted education is not part of special education.)

The idea of ‘full inclusion’ is a philosophy. It is not the law. Differentiation is a wonderful idea; however, it rarely occurs in the regular classroom for gifted students. Acceleration is one research-based ideawhich has been well-documented as one of the best possible methods for meeting the academic needs of gifted children.

Full inclusion is based on the principle of ‘least-restrictive environment’ for physically/mentally disabled students. LRE was the result of (something to consider*). For most students, the regular classroom isthe least-restrictive environment for their education. It is not, however, the case for students identified as intellectually gifted in most instances. It often becomes the ‘most-restrictive environment’.

Differentiationis one of those policies that looks great on paper, but the reality is that very few classroom teachers receive adequate professional development to do differentiation for gifted students and even fewer believe they need to provide it for these students. If differentiation of instruction was actually occurring, gifted students would not be the only group of students who consistently .

Consider the pressures facing most teachers today with a roster of 25 students in a class and 4 to 6 classes a day. Do.the.math. Who has the time to differentiate every lesson every day for a minimum of three different levels over the course of 180 days?

; especially if you’re in a school district with adequate funding for technology and professional staff development. I’m saying it’s most likely not being done in a majority of schools.

Disagree? Ask your school’s principal to let you sit in on classes for a day at your child’s school. Better yet … ask the principal to accompany you. If you feel that your child’s ‘needs’ are being met, then you’re all set!

If not, then you need to advocate for your child’s right to an appropriate education. And you need to be a smart advocate. Educate yourself on local school policies. If necessary, find a professional advocate (check with your state’s gifted association or ; or online) to guide you.

It doesn't have to be a fight. Most disagreements are the result of inadequate funding or misguided attitudes. If funding is the issue … this is where accelerationcomes into play. It is perhaps the most cost-effective measure a school can use to provide an appropriate education for gifted students. Talk to your child first, regardless of how old they are, to understand their feelings about moving ahead in school. If this is something they are comfortable with, get a copy of . Give it to the principal. Give it to the superintendent. Heck, give a copy to every member of the school board if necessary. Read it first yourself and be ready to explain it to the ‘decision makers’. Educators love to tell you that they will only accept ‘research-based’ solutions. Well … here you go!

Misguided attitudes are an entirely separate issue. Anti-intellectualismon the part of ‘educators’ is a sad state of affairs particularly in the U.S. It is a fight you may not want to engage in; even if you think you’re up to it. Mindsets based in ignorance are rarely changed by reason.

The situation becomes more complicated depending on ‘distance from the mean’ for students who are exceptionally-abled. Elementary and secondary teachers may only encounter these students a few times in their entire career. It is oftentimes hard to comprehend that with which you have little experience.

A recent (Swicord, Chancey, Davis, 2013) states:

“Exceptionally capable students exhibit characteristics that challenge the

efficacy of the traditional American educational system. Those that

demonstrate advanced ability in one or more academic areas may be

poorly served by age-based placement, and asynchronous development

of abilities may pose difficulties for strictly acceleration-based services.”

In this instance, it was recommended that these students need access to a wide range of services which may be provided by distance-learning programs easily accessed via the Internet, some form of acceleration (whole-grade, subject-only), and specially designed curriculum.

A relatively new approach for gifted education, at least in the U.S., is one of blended accommodation ~ a continuum of services (to borrow language from special education). Students may attend a public school part of the day and then either homeschool, cyber-school or attend college classes as part of a dual-enrollment program the remainder of the day.

Not available where you live? Learn more about what is available in other parts of the country (world) ~ you know, Google-it ~ and share this information with your district’s administration. Most administrators either don’t have the time or don’t care enough to do it themselves.

Rememberwhat I said earlier (?) … much of the movement toward modern Special Education was parent-driven*. It is the right of every child to have an education which produces growthfrom where they are at present to where their potential will take them! You are their best hope!

Five hurdles gifted college students must overcome

Most gifted adolescents breathe a sigh of relief when they enter college. Finally, they will be with their intellectual peers. Finally, they won’t have to hide their abilities. Finally, they will be able to fully, unapologetically immerse themselves in their interests.

Yet, gifted college students often face unexpected hurdles that must be overcome.
The academic and social challenges they encounter can lead to self-doubt and uncertainty. Any nagging doubts and fears that developed in high school can intensify in college, as gifted students take a sobering inventory of their limitations and face a harsh dose of reality. This leads to questions about their abilities, their choices, and even their sense of self.

Gifted students (and their parents) should assume that some self-reflection and second-guessing will emerge during college. Their doubts and fears may surface as one or more of these questions:

1. What if I make the wrong decision?

Gifted students, often blessed with multiple talents, are now faced with selecting a career and eliminating alternative options. While all college students must ultimately choose a career path, gifted individuals frequently scrutinize their decisions, sometimes obsessing over the complex array of variables in every outcome. They ponder over the existential implications of roads not taken, and are saddened about abandoning earlier dreams and ambitions.

Gifted students need to grieve the loss of career choices as they narrow their focus. Some may have honed a skill, practiced an instrument, or pursued a goal for years, and now must put this passion aside. They need to appreciate how they can incorporate these interests as hobbies throughout their lives. They may hopefully recognize that most choices are not irrevocable, and the decision-making process itself is a learning experience leading to greater wisdom and self-awareness.

2. What if I’m not the best?

After riding a wave of success in high school, gifted teens may be surprised to find an abundance of equally smart and gifted peers at college, especially if they attend a highly selective school. Suddenly, they are no longer the smartest kids on the block, and don’t receive frequent recognition for their abilities. In fact, they may not be noticed much at all. This sends some students into a tailspin, as they search for a sense of identity and purpose.

Gifted students can navigate this crisis by focusing on what they enjoy and what is personally meaningful, and finding a niche where they can excel. They may need to relinquish the expectation that they must stand out, and realize that self-worth does not hinge on recognition from others. Eventually, they may feel pride in accomplishments achieved among an environment of true peers.

3. What if I fail?

Despite easy grades in high school, many gifted students face greater academic demands than anticipated once they attend college. While the stimulation of an engaging, thought-provoking class is a welcome relief for some, , papers and presentations can be overwhelming for those who doubt their competence. Not only does this tap into concerns about grades, it also challenges their sense of self. If I’m so smart, how could I do poorly on this? What will others think if I fail? What about all of the people I’ll let down if I don’t do my best?

The , or even performing below expectations, creates added stress and the potential for burn-out, particularly for gifted students with perfectionistic tendencies. Many need to confront unrealistic goals, and learn to accept their limitations. Parents can provide reassurance that perfection is not expected, that their child’s well-being is more important than transcripts, and that they will love and accept their child regardless of their grades.

4. What study skills?

Many gifted teens coast through high school. Although they may take difficult classes, receive good grades, and participate in extra-curricular activities, many exert minimal effort and still achieve success. Their intense passion is reserved for what interests them most, and they invest little energy in the remainder of their classes. Once they get to college, though, some gifted teens realize that they have never developed study skills. They cannot just skim through a textbook before taking an exam and expect to have mastered the material. Finally confronted with some challenging classes, they now must actually work hard for the first time, learn how to study, and even ask for help (something they may never have had to do). Some perform poorly for the first time in their lives, an experience that can create surprise, confusion, anxiety and self-doubt.

Gifted college students may feel lost at first, since they may have never had to struggle in school. They may resist asking for help, avoid difficult courses, and even feel some shame because of their lack of preparation. They need support and guidance toward developing study skills and the resilience to take on challenging work. Although they may initially resent having to work hard or seek guidance, they may grudgingly admit that challenging, difficult classes are far superior to an easy, watered-down curriculum.

5. Where do I belong?

Some gifted teens finally experience a when they go to college. However, others never feel that they fit in. Many gifted teens are introverted, highly sensitive and emotionally intense, and are used to , and at times, alienated from peers. After anticipating that college would provide a place where they would find like-minded peers, they may experience disappointment. Gifted children who graduate high school early and start college at a young age, and those who manifest asynchronous development (whose emotional maturity lags behind their intellectual abilities), may feel even less prepared for the social demands of college.

Gifted students who feel isolated need to accept that their differences make them unique, and that they may need to work a little harder to find friends. They need to recognize that introversion is common, and that many teens experience social anxiety and shyness. Involvement with clubs, organizations and other activities where they can find peers with similar interests can also be a helpful way to connect with others.

Rather than obstacles, these hurdles can lead to new paths for future development.

Parents should assume that their gifted college student may grapple with one or more of the above questions. They can try to prepare their child as much as possible for what to expect, and offer support as they navigate through uncharted territory. However, counseling is helpful when these hurdles create an impasse, and when the student shows signs of depression, panic and obsessive thinking, persistent self-doubt, complaints of low self-esteem, or social anxiety and isolation. However, most gifted college students are able to grow through confronting and overcoming these new challenges. Rather than obstacles, these hurdles can lead to new paths for future development.

Gifted children need a place to belong

A about education highlighted the difference between creating an environment where students belong rather than one where they just fit in. The author, Kimberlee Kiehl, noted problems in a system where "most teacher education programs, not to mention the entire education culture in this country, push us toward making children fit in."

What is the difference between belonging and fitting in?

At first glance, they sound the same. A sense of belonging comes from feeling welcome, comfortable, appreciated, understood, and yes, fitting in. We are nourished and enriched by these relationships. But fitting in without truly belonging is different. When we force ourselves to fit in, we conform, restrain, mold, channel and direct energies to meet a standard. Sometimes it comes easily. Other times, it’s the old square peg in a round hole dilemma.

Gifted children learn about fitting in from an early age.This starts in preschool, when their interests and energy level may differ from that of their peers. They may be encouraged to sit in circle time and work on group projects when they would rather build castles or paint. Preschool teachers may be alternately delighted and stymied by a gifted child's precocious and unpredictable behavior. Some gifted children exhibit early signs of overexcitabilities and heightened sensitivity, with intense reactions to situations that other children might take in stride. They may start to feel somewhat different from the other children, but lack the developmental maturity to understand why they don’t quite fit in.

In elementary school, gifted children often experience frustration with rigid classroom routines. Typically expected to adapt to the curriculum, they are frequently offered supplementary “busy work” to keep them occupied. Many teachers, overwhelmed with the demands of differentiated instruction and a range of learning needs, have little opportunity to challenge their gifted students, and are sometimes relieved when these children remain quiet, passing time with a novel in their laps. When gifted children are less patient, parents may receive complaints about their disruptive or distracting behaviors. may be arbitrarily delayed, and options for acceleration are frequently discouraged. Gifted pull-out programs are often highly structured, with an expectation that all gifted students have similar needs.

Even more troubling is the discomfort and sense of alienation many gifted children experience with peers. They may not appreciate how their differences set them apart, and may be puzzled when their heightened sensitivity or enthusiasm for offbeat interests is met with disdain. At worst, they may become a target for bullying. Gifted adolescents are acutely aware of , and struggle with decisions related to conformity and social acceptance. Attempts at disguising their abilities are common, particularly among girls. Others refuse to compromise their values, even if it results in increased isolation. A variety of factors contribute to feeling different, including: intellectual interests beyond their years, impatience with peers who grasp learning at a slower pace or lack an affinity for , asynchronous development manifest in less mature social skills, or intense feelings and oversensitivity.

Gifted children and adolescents often wish for a place where they can belong. Many are accustomed to seeing themselves as outliers, different from the norm, and out of sync with children their age. Yet, they hunger for both intellectual and social connection with peers who understand their view of the world, who appreciate their perspective, and who just “get it” the same way they do. Some gifted children are fortunate enough to discover a group of like-minded peers in school, particularly in schools where ability grouping is offered. More often, they must turn to extra-curricular interests or activities to feel a sense of belonging.

Parents of gifted children may need to advocate in schools for more opportunities where their children can feel a sense of belonging. This may involve subject or grade acceleration, compacting (where groups of gifted children work together in classrooms), or for ability grouped classes. Extra-curricular interests that stimulate their creativity, curiosity, sense of discovery, strategic planning abilities, or sense of purpose (which may occur on or off the school grounds) are particularly appealing. Some examples include: art classes, chess, theatre, robotics, music groups, science classes, social justice initiatives, or volunteer activities. Summer camps focusing on academic or creative interests can provide a safe harbor where they can openly express who they are while exploring their abilities. Many extra-curricular activities, particularly camps, are expensive, although financial assistance is sometimes available. Families who cannot afford these options for their children, or who live in communities with limited resources may need to be particularly vocal advocates in the schools, since “finding a place to belong” is so critical to each child’s well-being.

What has helped your gifted child find a place to belong? Please let us know your ideas!

When does therapy benefit gifted adolescents?

Gifted adolescents are no more prone to social or emotional difficulties than other teens.¹Yet, the burden of feeling different from peers, and attempts to offset stigma and rejection, create a unique set of conflicts. At a point in their development when social acceptance seems essential, many gifted teens go to great lengths to hide their abilities from others. Some try to “dumb themselves down,” avoiding classes that might brand them as “nerds.” Others struggle with how to remain true to themselves, while still adapting to the social norms around them. are particularly difficult for adolescents who show signs of asynchronous development, and whose social skills lag behind their intellectual abilities. Even those gifted teens who achieve popularity still may be acutely aware of their differences and attempt to conform, sometimes immersing themselves in social and extra-curricular activities at the expense of academic pursuits. They sometimes later regret that they “sacrificed” their interests or ambitions to gain approval.

Gifted adolescents often struggle with being gifted

Regardless of their level of social comfort, gifted adolescents often struggle with traits frequently associated with giftedness. These may include perfectionism, harsh self-criticism, oversensitivity, fear of failure, anxiety about performance, and even despair over injustices affecting others. Some develop cynicism about an education system that has failed to challenge them, and become underachievers. Others may feel ashamed of their so-called “gifts,” claiming they are undeserving of accomplishments earned so easily. They may be conflicted about career goals, torn between their desires and what family and society expect, and worry that they will not live up to their potential.

Therapy can offer both support and challenges

Therapy can create a safe haven where gifted adolescents can receive the support, understanding and the appropriate challenges they need to surmount difficulties associated with giftedness. Trying to fit in, juggling others’ expectations, and sorting out an array of conflicting messages are commonplace for gifted teens. Participation in therapy does not mean that something is seriously wrong; therapy is a resource for achieving greater self-awareness and overcoming obstacles to personal growth. (See for more information about psychotherapy).

Adolescents’ cognitive abilities, attitudes about being gifted, and the family’s and school community’s impressions about their giftedness influence feelings about themselves. Therapists need to consider the interplay between the child's giftedness and specific emotional, social, family or academic problems. Webb²and others in the literature ^3,4,5,6 have also emphasized how an individual’s giftedness needs to inform treatment planning.

Therapists can help teens manage the social and emotional "baggage" often associated with giftedness. Common characteristics such as introversion, oversensitivity, asynchronous development, and attunement to moral injustice can make adolescence even more trying. Other examples include social anxiety, perfectionism, harsh expectations of self and others, underachievement, family demands, sibling conflicts, unresolved distress related to bullying or peer rejection, shame associated with failed accomplishments, and ambivalence about career goals. Counseling can offer support and a clear perspective when these burdens seem overwhelming.

Giftedness must be considered in diagnosis and treatment

Sometimes gifted adolescents suffer from emotional problems that any teen might face, such as depression, anxiety, or an addiction. Therapy is even more essential under these conditions. Nevertheless, a child’s giftedness needs to be considered in any diagnostic evaluation and throughout treatment. Webb²has highlighted how gifted individuals can be misdiagnosed by practitioners who fail to appreciate the effect giftedness has on an individual’s social, emotional and cognitive functioning. (Recently, SENG has launched the to educate pediatricians and other health care professionals about the risks of misdiagnosis.)

If giftedness is secondary to more pressing psychological, interpersonal or family problems, a therapist can still remain cognizant of how the teen's intellectual strengths, and traits associated with giftedness may influence their behaviors and emotions. While identifying psychological symptoms of distress is beyond the scope of this article, some general warning signs can include: withdrawal from family and friends, sadness and tearfulness, comments related to hopelessness, increased anxiety, angry outbursts, threats to harm self or others, difficulty concentrating, insomnia or sleeping a lot more than usual, unexplained physical symptoms, significant weight loss or gain in a short period of time, change in friendships, problems at school or with the law, intoxication or signs of drug use. (For further information about symptoms, you can visit . If you need to find a therapist, often the best resource is to check with your child’s pediatrician for a referral.)

Gifted adolescents often enter therapy with hesitation, but soon welcome feeling understood. Their acute self-awareness, tendency to scrutinize themselves and others, and willingness to engage in complex debate create both opportunities and challenges during therapy. Therapy can help them navigate this difficult passage through adolescence, and provide further tools for growth and development.

This paper was adapted from the following article: Post, G. (2013). Counseling gifted adolescents: Integrating social and emotional aspects of giftedness into treatment. National Association of Gifted Children Counseling and Guidance Newsletter, 9, 13-14.

References:

¹Neihart , M. (1999). The impact of giftedness on psychological well-being: What does the empirical literature say? Roeper Review, 22, 10-17.

²Webb. J., Amend, E., Webb.,N., Goerss, J., Beljan, P., & Olenchak, R. (2005). Misdiagnosis and Dual Diagnoses of gifted Children and Adults: ADHD, Bipolar, OCD, Aspberger's, Depression, and Other Disorders. Tucson, AZ: Great Potential Press.

³Grobman, J. (2009). A psychodynamic psychotherapy approach to the emotional problems of exceptionally and profoundly gifted adolescents and adults: A psychiatrist’s experience. Journal for the Education of the Gifted, 33, 106-125.

⁴ Jacobsen, M. (1999). Arousing the sleeping giant: Giftedness in adult psychotherapy. Roeper Review, 22, 36-42.

⁵Moon, S. & Thomas, V. (2002). Family therapy with gifted and talented adolescents. Journal of Advanced Academics, 14, 107-113.

⁶Silverman, L. (Ed.) (2000). Counseling the Gifted and Talented. Denver, CO: Love.

The Columbus Group Conference

Parenting gifted children is awesome! No.doubt.about.it. I said ‘awesome’ … not easy. There are days that will overwhelm you and days that will make you cry. When those days come, it is important to remember that there are resources available to you to help make it through the day … and knowing about the ‘Columbus Group’ is one of the best resources I can tell you about.

For decades, most people did not know ‘who’ comprised the Columbus Group. Experts in the field of gifted education were known to question its very existence. This group represented the ‘kinder, gentler side of gifted parenting’. The definition of giftedness (Columbus Group, 1991, in Morelock, 1992) that was developed in the living room of one of its members decades ago is as follows,

“Giftedness is asynchronous development in which advanced cognitive abilities and heightened intensity combine to create inner experiences and awareness that are qualitatively different from the norm. This asynchrony increases with higher intellectual capacity. The uniqueness of the gifted renders them particularly vulnerable and requires modifications in parenting, teaching and counseling in order for them to develop optimally.”

A recent book, Off the Charts, details the history of the Columbus Group and contributing authors are a who’s who of the finest individuals in gifted education and advocacy in the past 40 years. This year, it was honored as a winner from the *.

The term ‘asynchronous development’ as is relates to gifted children was coined by the Columbus Group. In fact, at the time it was initially discussed, a call to the local library was necessary to find the definition of ‘asynchronous’. How fortunate for thousands of gifted children and their parents that someone made that phone call!

Members of the Columbus Group believe in a child-centered approach to gifted children; one in which the whole child’s personal growth and development of ‘the self’ are most important. This is in contrast to those who promote achievement and recognition as the sole goal for which to strive. In a conversation with one of the members of the group, I was told that there was no disagreement with gifted children achieving goals; it just shouldn't be considered the prime focus of their education.

Recent emphasis on talent development did, however, prompt the release of Off the Charts. From Stephanie Tolan’s blog :

“So it was that members of the Columbus Group, that has continued

to meet throughout these two decades, decided it was an important

time to put out a book to remind the field of the critical “other side”

(the inside) of giftedness, which is part of the gifted individual’s

experience whether in or out of school, whether achieving in the

eyes of the world at any given moment or not!”

Over the years, Columbus Group members have made incredible contributions to the gifted community from authoring numerous books and papers, presenting at conferences, and establishing schools for the gifted to providing psychological services for gifted children.

In February, 2014, parents as well as educators, program administrators, guidance counselors, psychologists and mentors will have the opportunity to attend a major conference from the authors of Off the Charts, “Asynchronous Development: Understanding the Implications for Gifted Children at School, in the Home and Across the Lifespan”.

Presenters at the conference will include: Shelagh Gallagher, Linda Silverman, Stephanie S. Tolan, Michael Piechowski, Patricia Gatto-Walden, Ellen D. Fiedler, Kathi Kearney, Michele Kane, Barbara Mitchell Hutton and Christine Neville.

Topics to be presented include: “Educating Asynchronous gifted Children in the Age of the Common Core”, “Dealing with Asynchronous Gifted Children in the Regular Classroom”, “The Social/Emotional Implications of Asynchrony for Highly Gifted Children”, “The Special Life of the Family with Asynchronous Children” and “Homeschooling Highly Gifted Asynchronous Children”.

This conference will be an extraordinary experience for parents of gifted children. Having had the opportunity to sit and talk with many of the presenters one-on-one, my life has been enriched beyond measure. It will be held in Albuquerque, New Mexico, on February 21st and 22nd. Reduced registration will be available through January 15, 2014. You can register online .

If you would like to read more about the Columbus Group, check out these resources:

edited by Christine S. Neville, Michael M. Piechowski and Stephanie S. Tolan

by Scott Barry Kaufman, Chapter 5, “Gifted Souls”

“” by Martha Morelock

* Disclaimer: I do contract work for TAGT, but have no involvement in the selection of Legacy Book Award winners.

Don't wait to get your gifted child tested!

Accurate identification of giftedness is necessary to determine what specific academic services your child needs. It also provides documentation when advocacy is warranted. While states and districts have varying requirements for gifted identification (see for more), many districts circumvent these requirements by creating roadblocks and delays. Yet, rather than request testing when they suspect their child is gifted, some parents just wait for the school to decide if testing is indicated. And some refuse to grant approval for any testing at all.

Why do some parents refuse testing for their child?

Insufficient information.Most parents know their own child, but don’t have a classroom full of children against which they can compare abilities. While they may suspect that their child is gifted, they may not feel justified for testing. “Who are we to think our child is so smart?”

Parents may trust the school’s judgment when determining whether their child should be tested. Yet, in many schools, gifted children may be overlooked, and teachers and administration often convince parents that their child is already receiving appropriate services. There is also a common misconception that bright children have been prepped before they start school, and their strengths will dissipate over time. As a result, many schools arbitrarily delay gifted evaluations until students are well beyond third or fourth grade, even though testing children between the ages of five and eight is considered ideal.

Apathy. Some parents believe that the “gifted program” in their district is a waste of time. Maybe it just involves extra homework. Perhaps it is only an hour pull-out a week. Some may have tried to advocate in the past and met with such resistance that they gave up. Others may feel it is not worth the time and effort, and make the decision to enrich their child’s education on their own. In these situations, parents have been led to believe they have little recourse to change the system, and cannot request additional services for their child.

Concerns about consequences. Parents worry about what they might find out from the evaluation. “Could our child also have a learning disability? What if he or she is not as bright as we thought? How will we explain to our child that he or she is gifted?” These concerns sometimes deter parents from requesting an evaluation, since they have little guidance about how they will cope with these possible outcomes.

Most schools fail to help parents understand the benefits of testing, how it can aid them with developing a plan geared toward appropriate academic instruction, and how they can assist the parent and child with their . And when school staff are either misinformed or philosophically opposed to gifted identification, they may persuade parents to refuse an evaluation. It may be suggested, for example, that their child could be traumatized if he or she “fails” the testing, or might be ostracized by peers for being different if identified as gifted.

Should parents decline testing because of these concerns?

While these concerns may be reasonable to consider at first, the benefits of testing usually outweigh any initial doubts. Here are some reasons for moving ahead with testing:

1. An evaluation will provide you and the school with a wealth of information about your child’s strengths, weaknesses and academic needs. An IQ test offers more than just a number; your child’s abilities are assessed in a range of areas that will help you and your school with academic planning. (For a helpful description of IQ testing, see the on testing.) The pattern of your child’s performance also provides important information about how he or she approaches new and challenging situations. Does he plan carefully and take his time? Does she rush or become frustrated if challenged? The pattern of responses is particularly important when evaluating gifted children, because many demonstrate large differences in scores between subtests. (For a great discussion of this, see .) A skilled psychologist can help you understand the reasons for any discrepancies and how to integrate this information into a meaningful academic plan.

2. Your child cannot “fail” the test. It is a measure of relative strengths and weaknesses based on age-based norms. Despite common misconceptions, you cannot “hothouse” your child to do well on these tests; studying and preparation are not required. IQ testing occurs in a one-to-one situation that asks a child to try out new skills, and stops each section of the test before it becomes too stressful. The psychologist typically tries to put the child at ease, and many children enjoy the individual attention they receive.

If your child’s overall IQ score does not meet criteria for gifted services, you can still request enrichment for your child in those areas of strength identified by the evaluation. If the score was close to the cut-off, typically an IQ score of 130, you may want to see if your child could be reevaluated the following year, especially if the psychologist noted any circumstances that might have contributed to an artificially lower score. For example, some gifted children are not identified because of fine motor skill weaknesses, or a tendency to ponder over the correct response (decreasing their score during timed tests), which can deflate their overall score. Common situations such as insufficient sleep the night before, hunger, or frustration over missing recess can influence test performance. Underidentification also occurs when children come from underprivileged or culturally different backgrounds, or where English is spoken as a second language.

3. It is worth getting an evaluation, even if the “gifted program” in your school district is less than adequate. Some parents doubt the benefits of the “gifted program” in the school and think it is not worth the effort. Even if the “program” lacks credibility, gifted identification still may offer your child options that might not be available without the label. The information the evaluation provides is still valuable in terms of understanding your child’s abilities, and can aid with advocating for improved individualized services. It is also useful should you move, transfer your child to another school, or decide to homeschool your child.

4. Fears about what a gifted evaluation will uncover are common. Most parents eventually learn to face these fears and find that the test results are a meaningful overview of their child's strengths and weaknesses. The evaluation may validate what the parents already suspect, but also may provide some surprises in terms of exceptional abilities, untapped strengths, or learning problems. Many learning disabilities remain undetected among bright and gifted children because their intellectual strengths allow them to compensate for their difficulties. By evaluating your child at a relatively young age, any suspected learning differences can be identified and hopefully addressed through appropriate instruction.

Concerns about explaining test results to a child strikes fear in many parents. While it is best to avoid sharing an actual IQ score with a young child, it is certainly helpful to explain findings in terms of strengths and weaknesses, especially since this most likely confirms what your child already suspects. You can , and place it in a context your child can understand. If you are concerned about isolation from peers, gifted identification will do little more than confirm what your child and his or her peers already know.

Don’t wait until the school recommends that your child get an evaluation.

If you suspect your child might be gifted, find out the procedures for requesting an evaluation. These guidelines should be available through your school district. Keep in mind that some children are less likely to be “noticed” by teachers and referred for evaluation. Children who are frequently overlooked for testing can be children of color; children from underprivileged, lower socio-economic backgrounds; less verbal, visual-spatial learners; non-English speaking children; gifted children with other disabilities (twice exceptional gifted learners); and less cooperative students. Do not assume that teachers or administrators will automatically recognize your child's abilities or refer your child for testing.

Some teachers and schools are proactive about prescreening students for giftedness and others are not. Even group ability tests used to prescreen for gifted evaluations can miss students who are easily distracted, become anxious during testing, or who are already bored with school. As a parent, you will need to keep this on your radar, and advocate for individualized testing when needed. Gifted toward ensuring that your child receives an appropriate and meaningful education. It may be up to you to set the wheels in motion!

Searching for Meaning ~ Idealism, Bright Minds, Disillusionment and Hope

Searching for Meaning

“Until my college experience, I thought my family’s life was quite good –

that it was the way things were supposed to be – and I assumed that

everyone should share those same values, behaviors and world views.

My roommate, to whom I now owe much gratitude, patiently listened as

I tried to persuade him of the validity and righteousness of my limited

and traditional views … His gentle confrontations were a distressing

jolt to me that generated an assortment of strong feelings. Though I

wanted to dismiss these new ideas, I found that I could not.

I BEGAN TO THINK.” ~ from the Introduction

I started reading Searching for Meaning based on the reputation of the author, Dr. James T. Webb. After finishing the first few chapters, I felt it would help me to be a better parent. But … ultimately, I found myself; and a resolution to decades of confusion and self-doubt. By the end of the book, I realized that it had helped me become a better person with a happier and healthier outlook on life.

To describe my feelings as a metaphor, it was like taking a trip down Memory Lane; except … suddenly road signs appeared that weren't there the first time. A new understanding swept over me and I knew why things had happened the way they did. But even more importantly … now I felt like I knew where I was headed!

It’s evident that the writing of this book was truly a cathartic experience for the author. His words engender a teacher – student relationship where the reader feels like a student being taught by a caring and understanding teacher who has ‘walked the walk’. Complex ideas are made simple. His insights seem the result of deeply personal experiences.

Idealism

If you thought you knew what idealism meant before reading this book; chances are … you’ll broaden your understanding of it. Dr. Webb delves into ideals as illusions and how they can lead to disillusionment, where idealism originates, and the positives and negatives related to it. Not only does he explain ideals, but why we create and need them.

An important point to remember is that idealism is the result of seeking out purpose in one’s life and the lives of those around us. It is through questioning our very existence – deep introspection - struggling to find the answer almost daily that begins the process.

Bright Minds

“Ironically, many, if not most, bright people – even those who are clearly

gifted – are unaware of how different their mental abilities are from those

of others and thus are also unaware of the implications that this difference

has on their daily lives.” ~ p. 37

Searching for Meaning was certainly written for those with bright minds. Dr. Webb explains why they are more susceptible to existential depression and how Dabrowski’s over-excitabilities play a role as well.

Disillusionment

“Unfortunately, the people who try the hardest to prove to themselves and

others that their life has meaning are usually so busy seeking illusory

achievements that they have little or no time to acquire or appreciate true

meaning. But without life meaning as an anchor, people are particularly at

risk for disintegration and existential depression.” ~ p. 168

Disillusionment and the resulting existential depression that often follows are not easy topics to read about. It is, however, a worthwhile endeavor that can change your life forever.

Hope

The good news is that there is hope. This book offers concrete suggestions on how to cope with our disillusionment and then takes us to a place where we can thrive.

I found the suggestion that we can write our own life script very intriguing. We don’t have to settle for the status quo. It is possible to gain a ‘new attitude’ and take a new path.

Searching for Meaning is the culmination of a career spent helping others to find meaning in their own existence. Dr. Webb has worked personally with many individuals who struggled with understanding their place in the grand scheme of things. This book can help you find your place in the world, too!

For parents of musically gifted children: Get out of your own way so your child can flourish

Part Two: Get out of your own way so your child can flourish.

Parents of gifted young musicians can support their child’s musical growth by understanding their own reactions and feelings. As noted in , parents often experience strong emotions in response to their child’s musical talent, and these emotions warrant scrutiny and management. By understanding their feelings and motivations, parents can avoid counterproductive responses and behaviors that might interfere with their child’s progress.

As hard as it might be to admit, most parents of musically gifted children experience some emotional reactions that could negatively influence their child’s progress. To be blunt, parents sometimes project their own needs, wishes and anxieties onto their child’s study, creating unnecessary confusion and conflict for their child. The potentially negative effects these emotions might have can be mitigated by recognizing, understanding and challenging the feelings and the behaviors they elicit. Some questions to consider include:

Are you making the music too important? Has your child’s musical talent become the repository of your hopes and dreams? If you find yourself becoming overly invested in the importance of your child’s musical accomplishments, you may inadvertently convey this attitude. As a result, your child might feel compelled to pursue music primarily to please you, or conversely, might rebel and quit in protest.

Are you expecting too much? Do you compare your child’s accomplishments to those of other young musicians, and feel frustrated that he or she is not as successful? While success in music requires dedication and diligent practice, some children lack the drive and motivation to follow through with this degree of effort. Each child progresses at his or her own pace, a product of talent, opportunity, drive and education, and comparison with other children only fosters resentment.

Are you using misguided motivational tactics? Do you find yourself regretting harsh words and arguments over practice? Do you cringe over shaming statements and criticism that you thought might motivate your child? While you may have been influenced by some teachers, books or the media to believe that harsh discipline is a necessary part of musical instruction, it is more important to appreciate its impact on your child. The best learning comes from excitement, inspiration and intrinsic desire, not drudgery or a “boot camp” approach. While short term gains may be achieved, the long term effects can damage your child’s love of music. More importantly, it can hurt your relationship with your child.

Do you set unrealistically high goals for your child? Are your expectations unrealistic? Do they create too much pressure and stress for your child and family? Just as intellectually gifted children may display asynchronous development, where social development lags behind intellectual abilities, musically gifted children also may not be developmentally prepared to tackle the rigorous demands required to advance their musical talent. Excessive pressure may create resistance or anxiety in a child who, frankly, needs more time to play with his or her friends.

Do you downplay your child’s musical interest? Do you have mixed feelings about your child's participation in musical activities? Does it worry you that music may be a distraction from more productive/useful/socially acceptable interests? Are you worried about music as a future career path? While it is reasonable to express valid concerns to your child as he or she matures, especially those involving peer influences or potential career paths, communicating ambivalence without explanation is unsettling and confusing to most children.

Admitting to any of the behaviors listed above is hard enough for any parent. Understanding how your child’s musical talents evoke unmet personal needs for fulfillment, a desire for approval from others, a drive for perfection, or a range of other emotions is even more difficult. Yet, recognizing when your own needs and wishes differ from what is in the best interest of your child is critical to , and to a healthy parent-child relationship. You can avoid “acting out” these emotions with your child by trying the following:

Get informed:

Speak to a trusted music teacher or musician about what to expect from your child at different ages and stages of musical development. Do some reading that could provide some useful information. Books such as “Kindling the Spark” and “The Musician’s Way” are a good place to start.

Seek support:

Reach out to family and friends for help with reactions and frustration. They know you best and will hopefully provide honest, caring feedback about what might blind your judgment. Seeking support from fellow parents of young musicians is also invaluable. Look for opportunities to join organizations such as band parent associations, for example, or form relationships with parents you meet at recitals. If your worries seem excessive, overwhelming or persistent, counseling with a mental health professional would be helpful.

Monitor your child’s behavior:

Most importantly, remain attuned to your child’s adjustment. Pay attention to whether your child truly enjoys the music. Every young musician loses interest in practicing and gets frustrated at times. But if your child repeatedly complains, or cries and becomes angry about practice or lessons, it may mean he or she needs a change. As with most aspects of parenting, raising a musically talented child involves being aware of your own feelings, but ultimately remaining attuned to your child’s needs.

Parents: what has been most helpful with your musical child?

References:

Haroutounian, J. (2002). Kindling the Spark. New York: Oxford University Press.

Klickstein, G. (2009). The Musician’s Way: A Guide to Practice, Performance and Wellness. New York: Oxford University Press.

Parents as Partners in Learning

One of the greatest gifts we can give our children is to be an engaged partner in their lives. This involvement needs to extend to their school work. For many parents, this is a given; but not all.

There are parents who once their child is identified as gifted think they don’t need to do anything more. When I first started to organize parents in my local school district, I was appalled when a father expressed those exact sentiments to me. Fortunately, 30 other parents did not share his feelings and we eventually became a very strong and influential parent group.

So how does a parent become a partner? Some of the most precious memories I have of my daughter when she was in elementary school are of the nights we spent reading together. Even though she was an excellent reader, far above grade-level; I still read to her. She chose the books and I did the reading. She could have easily read them herself, but it was far more enjoyable reading together.

Gifted children are extremely sensitive to how adults feel about them. They appreciate interaction with the adults in their lives. Parents and grandparents can make a real difference in developing a love for learning.

The opportunities are endless when you take the time to look for them. Explore options available at your child’s school first. Next, consider your child’s personal interests and then research possibilities with your child which will nurture these interests.

Like many children, my daughter loved dinosaurs. As a very young child, we made weekly visits to the library to find books on dinosaurs. As she grew older, we spent many weekends at a nearby natural history museum. Later, we incorporated side-trips on family vacations to include visits to known dinosaur sites. When a world-renown archaeologist came to our museum, we attended his lecture together. We eventually even met one of her most favorite archaeologists at a museum reception.

Did she grow up to be an archaeologist? No. Does it matter? Absolutely not. What did matter was that my daughter knew I cared about her and encouraged her to follow her interests.

Learning for gifted kids is so much more than scoring ‘advanced’ on standardized tests, winning awards or finishing at the top of the class. These things may well happen, but their memories will be sweeter if they include the special times bonding with you over a favorite book or walking over the foot prints of a long gone dinosaur in a now exposed river bed. Take time to become a partner in learning with your child.

Parenting a musically talented child: Understanding your own reactions so you can encourage your child

Part One: Awareness

Most parents delight when their child performs in a recital or school concert. Yet they usually recognize that these musical efforts are an enriching activity and not a future career path. What happens, though, when parents realize that their child is musically gifted? How do they react to this, support their child’s growth as a musician, and make the best choices for their child and family?

Although parents may suspect that their child has talent, it usually takes outside confirmation to validate their perceptions. Often it comes from a music teacher or instructor, and is reinforced as the family witnesses how their child surpasses other children and grasps music in a manner well beyond the child’s years. When parents eventually realize that their child is musically gifted, they may be flooded with a range of feelings. How well they manage their feelings and reactions, and how these reactions are conveyed to their child can influence their child’s attitudes toward music.

Developing an awareness of these emotions is a critical first step toward gaining a handle on them. Without understanding what they are feeling, parents may end up responding in counterproductive ways. The first step is recognizing the typical reactions most parents experience. These may include:

Excitement – Parents are often thrilled when they realize that their child is musically talented. They may take pride in their child’s abilities, and perhaps even feel in awe of his or her talents. If the child is their biological offspring, reactions may range from immodest pride (“I guess he’s got my musical skills”) to bewilderment (“how did I end up with such a talented child?”). Parents who are also musicians may feel a special bond with their child, as they can fully appreciate the child’s experience.

Uncertainty – Along with excitement, parents often feel uncertainty. Many wonder . And if they are not musicians themselves, entering an unfamiliar world of new terminology and expectations can be particularly daunting. They may question whether they can find the best resources for training, how to assess their child’s teacher or music class, and if they will be able to afford the costs of lessons, ensembles, camps and other opportunities. They may wonder what role they should play in their child’s daily routine and how much to push their child. Should they be a taskmaster and insist on regular practice, or allow their child to develop at his or her own pace? Have they done enough to foster their child’s musical growth and development? Even if they follow advice from teachers and other musicians, nagging doubts may remain.

Fears - After the initial excitement fades, many parents worry about what lies ahead. Music study takes tremendous discipline and dedication, and the commitment often eliminates time for other extra-curricular or social opportunities. Parents may feel conflict over limiting their child's extra-curricular choices to make time for dedicated practice. Some parents also worry that their child will be ostracized because of appearing different, and will be unpopular, especially if he or she performs traditional classical music or musical theatre. If their child performs jazz, rock or alternative forms of music, parents may worry about negative peer influences their child may eventually encounter. Long-range concerns include college planning, realistic career choices and whether a music career can sustain a viable income.

Emotional turmoil – Parents also weather the emotional ups and downs of their child’s successes and failures. Pride and excitement following a solid performance, anxiety prior to an audition, or frustration when their child lags behind with practicing all come with the territory. Parents may be surprised to discover their own competitive feelings toward children who surpass their child at auditions, or feel guilt due to ambivalence about their child’s involvement with music. Some may resent the cost of lessons and instruments, and the time spent traveling to rehearsals or competitions. Many feel saddened and angry if their talented child fails to live up to his or her potential or gives up music completely.

Raising a musically talented child can be invigorating, frustrating, intense, infuriating, worrisome, joyful, and deeply fulfilling. Parents' increased awareness of their own feelings will improve their ability to support their child by reducing the tendency to respond in a counterproductive manner. (More about this in ) Once parents are aware of their reactions, thoughts and feelings, they can take steps to minimize any negative effects on themselves and their children.

will focus on what parents can do to address their reactions. But the first step is awareness. Are there any reactions that you would like to share?

Revelations: The School for Gifted Potentials

Revelations is the second in a series ~ The School for Gifted Potentials ~ from Allis Wade and is as engaging as her first book – Orientation. In this new volume, we see Everett and his friends adjust to everyday life at their new school.

From my review of Orientation:

“Set one hundred years in the future, this story has the familiarity of a young

adult fantasy/science fiction novel …an enchanting tale of a boy unaware of

his origins and unsure of his future. Ringing dystopian for some and utopian

for others, the main character – Everett – lives in a world where gifted children

are sought out for their intellectual gifts and talents; and then whisked off to

a residential school where they are rarely ever allowed to see their families

again.” (The full review may be read .)

Revelationslives up to its title. There are many answers revealed from the first book, but just as many new questions are raised. The tangled web woven by his mother begins to unravel as the reader learns the truth behind Everett’s admission to the SFGP. But … all is not as it appears at the School for Gifted Potentials!

One thing is for sure … there is nothing predictable in this story line – nothing! It is layer upon layer of good writing and great strategies for parents and teachers of gifted students. Allis Wade takes complex concepts associated with giftedness and makes them understandable for all. Her experiences with gifted children are evident throughout the book.

The author does not shy away from difficult situations ~ separation of mother and son, sibling rivalry, and the inequity prevalent in real world schools between regular education and gifted education. She delves deeply into parental struggles … love lost; a fatherless child; lies told to children in an attempt to protect them; a mother’s love so strong she is willing to lose her child in order to provide him with the best possible education.

Who is the audience for this series? Gifted students will learn how to deal with bullying, perfectionism, coping with failure, asynchronous development and Dweck’s work on mindsets. Parents will learn about Dabrowski’s Theory of Over-Excitabilities. Teachers will see how to incorporate Project-Based Learning into their curriculum, build meaningful relationships with their students and see the possibilities of ‘teacher-as-coach’.

There are many books written about gifted education and giftedness. Good fictional tales, however, involving gifted children are few and far between. I encourage parents to read these books and then pass them on to their children as I believe both will benefit from the them.

Everett has a tough decision to make about his future at the end of Revelations. The reader has an easier task – awaiting the arrival of the next book from Allis Wade. I personally hope that the wait is a short one!

Postscript: Discussion questions at the end of the book are just what you would expect from an author who is also a teacher. This addition makes the book a perfect choice to be used in a gifted classroom. These thought provoking questions will guide the readers to a better understanding of the nature of giftedness.

Addendum: My thanks to the author for providing a digital copy of this book for review.

Parenting Blog