5 New Year's Resolutions for a Happier Family

A fresh new year is upon us. Let us resolve to make 2015 a year of connection and love with these 5 resolutions.


1. Make your marriage a priority. Research shows that happy marriages make happier kids. Rekindle the romance by flirting, being playful, going on dates, or just spending time alone once the kids are in bed. It's easy to let the hectic parenting life draw us away from our partners, so we have to be intentional to maintain this important relationship.

2. Commit to yelling less. Again, the research is piling up on the harmful effects yelling can have on our families – especially our kids. There is a space between stimulus and response – between your child's action and your reaction – that, when mindfully harnessed, provides the space for you to calm down and respond rather than react. Practice expanding that space a little every day.

3. Slow down and unplug. We love our smartphones, iPads, and social networking sites, but it can be easy to tune out our families when we're plugged in all the time. If you want a happier, closer family, commit to some "unplugged time" daily. Put away all the gadgets, shut down the computer, and connect with your spouse and your kids for some time each day with no distractions. Purposefully leave some empty spaces on the calendar to just be together and enjoy each others company.

4. Take better care of yourself. Your needs are important, too, and it's no secret that we can give more of ourselves when we are healthy and refreshed. Make it a priority to get the exercise and sleep your body needs as well as ensuring you have some time each week to do something just for you. If you have to drop some less important tasks or commitments to make that happen, don't feel guilty for doing so.

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One Child, One Life ...

It’s easy to get caught up in the busy holiday season and to sometimes forget what is most important … nurturing our children. As parents, the window of opportunity for providing a loving, supportive environment is only open for a short time. Use that time wisely. Do not take anything for granted involving their education, their social-emotional development or their individual needs. Life affords us but one chance to foster the next generation. Becoming a parent happens in an instant. Parenting is a lifelong endeavor. 

Over the past several years, I have had the privilege of interacting with some impressive young people in the gifted community both online and in person. All of them benefited from nurturing environments provided by their parents.  

Meet Calista Frederick-Jaskiewicz. I first met Calista as a young child at a STEM Advocacy meeting where her mother had come to speak about her daughter's unique journey as a student who never attended a brick and mortar school; opting to attend one of the first cyber-schools in the nation in kindergarten. Calista sat quietly in the back of the room folding origami birds ... not something you'd expect to see at a STEM meeting. Over the years since that initial meeting, I've come to learn how important is to STEM fields and to see the incredible nurturing Calista's parents provided her. 

Calista has been the recipient of many honors and awards including: , Distinguished Finalist of the 2014 Prudential Spirit of Community Awards, , a 2012 Kids are Heroes honoree, violinist with the Three Rivers Young Peoples’ Orchestra in Pittsburgh, and nine-time State Taekwondo Champion. Now a freshman at Georgia Tech, Calista continues to influence the world both academically and socially through her non-profit organizations, . 

Meet Nikhil Goyal. Nikhil was a , a chat I moderate on Twitter, and a Keynote Speaker at this year’s Texas Association for the Gifted and Talented Annual Conference. It was a pleasure to meet him and listen to his talk on education reform and the value of student voice. There is no doubt that his parents provided a nurturing environment.

Nikhil’s accolades are many. At age 19,  is an activist and author of  as well as a book on learning, forthcoming from Doubleday-Random House in 2015. He has appeared as a commentator on MSNBC and FOX and has written for the New York Times, MSNBC, NPR, and . A Motivational Speaker, Goyal has spoken at Google, The Atlantic, Fast Company, NBC, MIT, Yale University, Stanford University, SXSW and others. He was named one of the  (2012), named to , one of ORIGIN Magazine’s The Nation’s Top Creatives. His first book, “One Size Does Not Fit All: A Student’s Assessment of School,” in 2012 offered a student perspective on the American education system. His upcoming book, , is set to be released in 2015.

Meet Madeline Goodwin. Madeline was also a . An interview I did with her earlier this year can be found . Madeline’s mother, Corin Barsily Goodwin, is the Executive Director of and a strong influence in her daughter’s life. Madeline was homeschooled her entire life and entered college at age 13. She credits her mother and step-dad for supporting her throughout college. This past spring, she graduated cum laude from Southern Oregon University and began graduate school in the fall.

While in college, Madeline became involved with the Ecology and Sustainability Resource Center on campus. Her interests included climate change, biodiversity, social justice issues, LGBTQ issues, women’s rights and human rights. After graduate school, she is considering the Peace Corps or Americorps.

Meet Jack Andraka. Jack was a Keynote Speaker at this year’s NAGC National Convention. Sitting in the audience, I was amazed that this young man was only 17. He was a witty, engaging speaker who just happens to be working on a prototype for an early-detection test for pancreatic and other types of cancer. His mother was sitting in the audience as well and Jack credits his parents for always supporting him in all his endeavors.

Jack’s on his work has been viewed nearly 4 million times. He was a 2013 winner in the Intel International Science and Engineering Fair. Jack did his research at Johns Hopkins School of Medicine under the direction of Professor Anirban Maitra. This month, he announced that he will be attending Stanford University as a member of the Class of 2019.

Recent research in neuroscience points to the importance of creating a supportive environment for children to reach their full potential. Conversely, lack of a nurturing environment can have an untold detrimental effect on what children can achieve. Parents need to understand their roles in the lives of their children and to remember that .. one child, one life can change the world. Nurture your child like the world depends on it!

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Ten best Gifted Education articles of 2014: Informative, controversial and enlightening

Whether aimed at defining giftedness, championing educational rights, or understanding what enhances or limits academic growth, the internet was flooded with powerful articles in 2014. The best of the bunch targeted advocacy and what it means to be gifted. I have selected the ten articles that I felt were the most meaningful and enlightening. Some were controversial. Others were straightforward and informative. Still others were heartfelt and moving.


Here they are (in no particular order):

"It's time to end the bias in American education against gifted and talented pupils and quit assuming that every school must be all things to all students, a simplistic formula that ends up neglecting all sorts of girls and boys, many of them poor and minority, who would benefit from more challenging classes and schools."

"If we acknowledge that people differ in what they have to contribute, then we have an argument for a society in which all human beings are entitled to a life that includes access to decent housing, health care, and education..."

"...among young people with off-the-charts ability, those who had been given special accommodations - even modest ones, like being allowed to skip a grade, enroll in special classes, or take college-level courses in high school - went on to publish more academic papers, earn more patents, and pursue higher-level careers than their equally smart peers who didn't have these opportunities."

"Gifted education is not going to fix itself. No matter how many gifted people talk to each other about how much their children need different educational experiences, we still cannot move the mountains of politicians and corporations who stand in our way."

"When students thought of their intelligence as a thing that's just fixed, they were vulnerable. They were not willing to take on challenges that might test their intelligence, and they weren't resilient when they came into obstacles." 

"...the bottom line is that there are large, measurable differences among people in intellectual ability, and these differences have consequences for people's lives."

"They found that sheer amount of deliberate practice does not, in fact, explain most of the differences in expert performance. Additionally, there were huge differences between fields..."

"Researchers spent four decades studying a group of mathematically talented adolescents, finding that by mid-life they were extraordinarily accomplished and enjoyed a high level of life satisfaction. Gender, however, played a significant role in how they pursued - and defined - career, family and success."

"There is much indignation over the school to prison pipeline that funnels children into the criminal justice system, especially regarding the large number of special educaton students within this population... Lamentably overlooked, though, is the other at-risk population, gifted and talented students."

"It's impossible to deny that persistence and hard work are important life lessons... But in the rush to add grit to the lesson plan, we risk leaping from anecdote to antidote, and making assumptions about the correlation, or not, between effort and intelligence."

There were so many great articles this year. I apologize for the many I may have overlooked. Please add your favorites in the comments section below. Thanks!

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Can I Do Montessori at Home?

The Montessori Method of education was founded in 1907 by Dr. Maria Montessori, the first woman in Italy to become a physician, which she achieved in 1896. In 1901, she gave up her work in the clinic and studied philosophical education and pedagogical pathology. Dr. Montessori based her educational methods on scientific observation of children's learning processes.

What I love about Dr. Montessori is that she always emphasized respect for children. She believed even very young children have a sense of personal dignity, and therefore she advocated for allowing children freedom of choice to choose their activities and also for teaching them autonomy – to do things for themselves. She discovered that children had a wonderful ability for deep concentration at tasks that interested them and also a great sense of order. Children are naturally eager learners, and Montessori believed they are capable of initiating learning in a prepared environment.

The question is can one provide a Montessori environment at home? The answer is yes! Here's how:

Freedom
Your child needs freedom to move and explore the environment. Prepare a place in your home where your child is allowed to freely explore without interference and “no's”. Make this space clean and clutter-free, pleasing to the eye, engaging, and of course, safe.

Engaging
Provide simple toys for babies and toddlers, such as wooden blocks, rings with a rocking base, and simple wooden puzzles. You may want to create a busy board with a real key and lock, zippers, buttons, wheels, etc. You can find many ideas for busy boards online. Provide several different baskets of activities, all neatly arranged and easy to see, and allow your child the freedom to choose at will. Montessori emphasizes learning through all 5 senses, so be sure to include activities that stimulate each sense.

Orderly
Montessori believed that having external order can help children develop a sense of internal order. Therefore, the environment should be neat and orderly, and everything should have a place. Teach your child to put things away when they are finished. Make tidying up a habit when your child is a toddler as this gives him some control over the order of his environment.

Child-Sized
Look at your home through your child's eyes. Put things within reach. Low and open shelves and child-sized furniture are staples in the Montessori environment. Provide light weight step stools at sinks and arrange things such as toothbrushes, toothpaste, and hand soap within reach, as well as snacks low in the refrigerator and cups accessible for getting their own drinks.

Encourage Autonomy
Montessori believed that young children have a need for purposeful work, not to complete a job but for the activity itself. It is good for children to have small-sized brooms, mops, and buckets so that they can be involved in cleaning up. Teach children self-care – how to blow their noses, brush their own teeth, bathe themselves, and dress themselves as toddlers. Allow for many choices throughout their day – which cup, which shirt, etc. - and this will also foster a sense of independence. Stand back and let them try things and only offer help when needed.

If you want an easy way to start using Montessori activities at home, Montessori By Mom provides themed Toolboxes with hours and hours of activities. Having all the material together saves time and money. They include instruction videos so you don't need any previous experience. I have used them and both of my children love their Montessori Toolboxes. They enjoy playing with the materials time and time again.

"Education is a natural process carried out by the child and is not acquired by listening to words but by experiences in the environment.” - Maria Montessori

Sources:

I'm happy to offer you a discount for of $10 off your first month's subscription! Just  and use the code AFFBEPP. Example toolboxes pictured below:

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Being gifted is not a choice

Being gifted is not a choice.

Yet another article has been published implying that parents can determine whether their child is gifted. In the author claims that "gifted children are as common as muck...hailing from the leafier suburbs," and goes on to pronounce, "I don't want a gifted child."

While the author later points out helping a child  successfully, and attribute success to effort rather than innate ability, his inflammatory headline and dramatic initial statements perpetuate misconceptions and stigma against gifted children.

You don't get a choice. You don't get to decide whether your child is gifted any more than you can choose eye color or athletic ability. Giftedness is a mixed bag of strengths, multipotentialities, and social/emotional challenges that are far from easy. You might decide not to "label" your child as gifted; however, your child's academic and emotional needs will not magically disappear.

Giftedness is rare. Only 5% of the population have an IQ at least two standard deviations above the norm. Hardly "common as muck." While some schools may label advanced tracking as "gifted programs" and there is still a tired debate from some who claim that , the reality is that only a small segment of the population fits this criteria.

Giftedness is everywhere. It is not limited to wealthy suburbs, as the author proclaims. Probably the most offensive aspect of the article is how it perpetuates the widespread myth that giftedness is a middle class construct. It implies that privileged families shepherd their children into gifted education programs, serving as a badge of accomplishment. Perhaps if gifted education and identification improved , this myth would eventually vanish.

While the article makes valid points regarding the importance of hard work and effort, and taking risks rather than relying on innate abilities, its false assumptions and initial generalizations are misleading and damaging. Yes, it is important to help your child learn from failure (although exist on how to implement this in the classroom). Yes, it is necessary to to your child. However, denying that giftedness exists, or making false, flippant and classist statements is pointless and harmful.

Make the "choice" to call gifted what it is. Don't muddy the waters any further. And help your child and others get the education they deserve.

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5 Ways to Bolster Your Child's Emotional Intelligence

Talk about feelings.
Describe how sadness, happiness, anger, and other emotions feel in the body. Teach your child to recognize and name emotions as she feels them. You can do this beginning when she is very young by saying, “You look angry. Your face is red, and your body is tense.” As she grows older, talk to her about how to handle her emotions. Teach her ways to move through sadness, deal with disappointment, calm anger, maintain happiness, and so on. She will benefit from this lifelong.

Accept and validate all feelings.
As parents, we often only like to see positive emotions in our children. Anger tends to trigger our own anger. Sadness makes us worry, and so we want to wipe it away quickly. We may dismiss disappointment or anxiety in hopes that these feelings will just go away in our children. We want to see them happy all the time, but human beings aren't happy all the time, and it's important for your child to learn that all emotions are normal and okay to feel. He needs to know, of course, that all behavior isn't acceptable (for example, he can't throw things because he's mad), but it's perfectly okay to feel mad. Don't dismiss feelings that make you uncomfortable, but sit with your child through them. Often, they just need you to listen and show understanding.

Play games that build emotional intelligence.
We have a long list of many emotions that we act out in our homeschool day. Yes, emotional intelligence is part of our curriculum. Acting out emotions with your bodies or with puppets or toys is a great way to build emotional intelligence. Look through magazines or books and talk about what emotions are shown on people's faces or give your child blank faces and various eyes, noses, and mouths to create their own faces. There are even some really neat toys that build emotional intelligence, such as and

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Unique Gifts for Little Ones - Holiday Gift Guide 6 from CreativeChild

If you're looking for unique, creative gifts for the little ones on your list, I have a wonderful gift guide for you full of great gift ideas. Check out a few of the items in this guide:

Hi, I’m

I provide kids and techies an expressive way to learn and play with robotics in a variety of social and interactive settings. I come to life when you create mazes, tracks and playgrounds on paper, game boards and digital screens. I also come with free downloadable apps and become your physical avatar for some truly one of a kind augmented reality games.

I teach you code language, robotic behavior and deductive reasoning while effortlessly playing on multi-dimensional environments. Expand your imagination and gain skills for life through my ability to play creative, strategic and competitive games with you.

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magnetic construction sets.

1. Why Goobi?

   • An ideal and amusing activity which induces creativity and helps to develop sense of proportion.
   • Teaches simple and spontaneous ways to learn basics of geometry, physics, architecture and engineering.
   • Enhances eye-hand coordination and improves problem solving skills.
   • An entertaining activity that brings families together, revealing their undiscovered creativity.
   • Can also be very helpful for occupational therapists in the rehabilitation of people with motor skill challenges.
   • Can even appeal to professionals as a stress reducer. 

   
   

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 is an award-winning educational bath toy for toddlers. 

Children and parents love this innovative and educational play surface that suctions in the middle of the tub, giving kids a sturdy & safe place surface while keeping water and toys inside the tub!

And for even more great gift ideas, check out the gift guide from babyMaternity, which includes practical gifts like this

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There is life after high school - even for gifted teens

What can gifted teens expect after high school? Finally relieved of tedious routines and underwhelming classes, gifted students are no longer faced with the . They may be able to reignite the love of learning that vanished during their school years.

For gifted teens, that is challenging and stimulating is critical. While not every gifted child must go to college, those who do will benefit most if they find one suited to their abilities.

I recently read a , nominated for U.S. defense secretary. I don't routinely scour reviews of every nominee, but was personally interested in this story because he was an alumni of my high school. Despite graduating from an overcrowded, suburban public school, he studied physics and medieval history at Yale, and then, as a Rhodes Scholar, pursued theoretical physics at Oxford.

As he writes in the article:

"High school in Philadelphia had left me hungry intellectually. I attended a large public school with thousands of students." He played sports, worked various odd jobs, and then, "rather unexpectedly was accepted into a good college, Yale..."

What might have happened if Carter had never gone to an exceptional college, one where he was finally challenged? With over one thousand students in each grade, his former high school did little to enrich its students' education, and it is likely that he languished in many of his classes, just like the rest of the students. Clearly, his talents and abilities opened the door for attendance at a highly respected university (although admissions is a  ordeal now than when he went to college).

What can teens and parents take away from this?

1. Yes, there is life after high school for gifted teens - one that is challenging, enriching, and intellectually creative.

2. Finding the best college fit is critical.

3. You can overcome a mediocre or even deficient high school education - if you apply yourself.

High school also can be difficult for gifted adolescents because of , as many gifted teens feel like outliers who don't quite fit in. Some "dumb themselves down" to be popular, but still may feel lost. College is a welcome opportunity to find like-minded peers where differences are accepted and appreciated.

Defense nominee Carter's example may be exceptional, but his trajectory from an unremarkable early education to an enriching experience in college is common for many gifted individuals. Discouraged high school students need to remind themselves that opportunities await them after graduation.

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Preparing Children for a New Sibling

Welcoming a new baby into the family is an exciting time. It can also be a difficult transition for your older children. Here are some tips for making the transition to big brother or big sister easier.

During Pregnancy:
1. Read a lot of books to your child about babies, birth, and being an older sibling.

2. Encourage connection to the new baby by involving your older child in the naming process, in shopping for the new arrival, and in preparing the nursery or sleeping space for baby brother/sister.

3. Allow your older child to pick out a gift for her new sibling and wrap it. Let her know she'll get a new present from the baby, too!

4. Take your child along to hear the baby's heartbeat, and let him see ultrasound photos. Show him his own ultrasound photos, pictures of his birth and infancy, and talk about how you felt when you first held him in your arms.

5. Allow for plenty of bonding time with dad or grandma or whomever will be watching your child while you are giving birth. Prepare your child ahead of time for the separation so that she'll know what to expect.

6. Keep your routine as regular as possible in the weeks leading up to the new arrival. This is not the time to transition to big beds or for potty learning. This should be done very early in pregnancy or well after the child has had adequate time to adjust to the changes a baby brings. Too many changes at once will overwhelm her.

Once Baby is Home:

1. Involve your older child in the care of the baby as much as possible. Rather than making him wait on the sidelines while you care for baby, which is likely to foster feelings of resentment, enlist his help.

2. Be sure to tell your older child how much she is still valued. Be specific in your praise and encouragement. “You mean the world to me. I'm so glad the baby has you for a big sister! She'll learn all about being kind and helpful from her wonderful big sister.” 


3. Let your older child overhear you telling the baby what a special big brother he has and how you hope he grows up to be a lot like big brother. Anytime our children hear us bragging on them to others, it boosts self-esteem and creates feelings of belonging and acceptance. Also tell people in front of him what a wonderful big brother he's being. Save the negative comments, like “he's been so clingy since the baby came home” for when he's not in earshot.

4. Realize regression is normal and won't last forever. Some children may start to act more like a baby again. It's best to avoid criticizing this behavior and just provide love and acceptance. Once her emotions level out, she'll act like herself again.

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Holiday Shopping Made Easy - Gift Guide #5 from CreativeChild

Another wonderful gift guide is here from CreativeChild, full of imaginative gifts for all the children on your list. Here are some highlights from issue #5.

– The Crazy 8's Reading Card Game
Ages 4 & up / 2-8 players / 10 minutes to play

Crazy A's (formerly called Whizizzle Phonics) is a fast-paced phonics game series that teaches the sounds of the English language. Designed by a dad and perfected by teachers, this series of phonics games keeps kids engaged in learning phonics basics while having fun.

Easier than memorization and more fun than flashcards, Crazy A's games help kids learn by using sight, sound and color. Level 1 teaches children the common "C-V-C" consonant-vowel-consonant words such as 'dog', 'cat', 'mom' and 'dad'.




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The Most Innovative, Creative, Puppet Maker in the World!

Folkmanis® believes imagination is the key to a healthy childhood, encouraging play and discovery to develop the skills necessary in life. The company has been making the most innovative and engaging specialty puppets in the world since 1976, delighting imaginations and winning nearly every industry, child development, and kid-tested award - many repeatedly.

A gift of a puppet encourages imaginative, open-ended play, endearing hugs, and snuggly companionship.

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Sand with peace of mind

Imagine children inspired by the simplicity of soft granular sand. Watch as they will dig, pile, sift, compact and more. These are all fundamental to the development of fine motor skills, intellect, visualization and social conduct.

#1 in education - allergy free, clean sand for indoor sandtables and sensory tables at preschools, child care centres, hospitals and therapeutic offices. Sandtastik® play sand can also be used for outdoor sandboxes, playgrounds and at home.

100% safe play sand - contains no quartz, no asbestos, no wheat and no nuts.

Features

• 100% safe for kids
• No free silica
• Soft
• Molds when wet
• Sparkles
• No dust
• Ages 2+  (adult supervision)
• AP Approved (ACMI); Non-toxic

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And for new and expecting parents, don't forget to check out babyMaternity's gift guide issue 5 as well, where you'll find great gift ideas such as these!

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